Weird science v.2

Yeah, I know we haven't posted anything in a while - sorry 'bout that. It's a lame excuse, but things really have been busy lately. Regular posting will begin again soon, but for now, put the needle on the record for ... SCIENCE!!!

France opens secret UFO files covering 50 years

by Marlowe Hood PARIS (AFP) - France became the first country to open its files on UFOs Thursday when the national space agency unveiled a website documenting more than 1,600 sightings spanning five decades.

The online archives, which will be updated as new cases are reported, catalogues in minute detail cases ranging from the easily dismissed to a handful that continue to perplex even hard-nosed scientists.

...

"Cases such as the lady who reported seeing an object that looked like a flying roll of toilet paper" are clearly not worth investigating, said Patenet.

But many others involving multiple sightings -- in at least one case involving thousands of people across France -- and evidence such as burn marks and radar trackings showing flight patterns or accelerations that defy the laws of physics are taken very seriously.

I saw an object that looked like a flying roll of toilet paper once, but it was after eating some bad Thai (thank you - tip your waitresses, folks!)


Conclusive proof: Vampires do not exist

The Huffington Post

Apparently some smarty-pants scientists have proven conclusively that vampires conclusively do not exist. Here's why: Each time a vampire bites someone to feed, they turn that person into a vampire, creating a cycle that doubles and doubles and doubles again, like that famous "and they told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on and so on and so on" Faberge Organics commercial from the 80's, and also like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and mitosis, kind of.

It's explained more smarter here:

If a single vampire fed on a single human in the first month, this would create two vampires -- and decrease the human population by one, leaving it at 536,870,911 - 1 = 536,870,910. In the second month, those two vampires would each feed, transforming two people into vampires -- so you get four vampires and a human population of 536,870,911 - 3 = 536,870,908. So you can see where this is headed. The vampire population is increasing in a geometric progression, and the population of humans is similarly decreasing -- and at that rate, the authors calculate, the entire human population would be transformed into vampires in only 30 months. QED!

So it isn't wooden stakes, sunlight or even Slayers that kill vampires - it's math. And Latin.


Bizarre hexagon spotted in Saturn’s clouds

One of the most bizarre weather patterns in the solar system has been photographed at Saturn, where astronomers have spotted a huge, six-sided feature circling the north pole.

Rather than the normally sinuous cloud structures seen on all planets that have atmospheres, this thing is a hexagon.

...

The hexagon is nearly 15,000 miles (25,000 kilometers) across. Nearly four Earths could fit inside it. The thermal imagery shows that the hexagon extends about 60 miles (100 kilometers) down into the clouds.

This is simultaneously the most disconcerting and the most awesome thing I've ever seen. I don't know what's going on with Saturn, but between this and the Eye, I think it might be a good idea to watch the skies.


Smaller Inflatable Exoskeleton

nym - This tiny girl is wearing what's called a "Power Jacket," which is an inflatable exokeleton that weighs only four pounds.

Japanese electronics giant Matsushita Electric Industrial unveils the prototype model for a "power jacket" to help patients recover from partial paralysis during rehabilitation, at the Home Care and Rehabilitation Exhibition in Tokyo.

This is cool on so, so many levels.


Scientists discover 'shadow person'

by Erica Harrison Cosmos Online

SYDNEY: Ever feel as though you're being followed? As if someone is behind you, shadowing your every move? It might be your ‘shadow person,' created by unusual activity in a specific brain region, a new study shows.

The paper, published in the British journal Nature, describes the case of a 22-year-old woman with no history of psychiatric problems who was being evaluated for treatment of epilepsy. When a region of her brain called the left temporoparietal junction was electrically stimulated, the woman described encounters with a ‘shadow person' who mimicked her bodily movements.

…

When the patient was lying down, stimulation of this brain region caused her to feel that someone was behind her. … When the patient sat up, leaned forward and clasped her knees, she felt that the figure was also sitting, embracing her in its arms - a feeling she described as "unpleasant."

Do you ever get the feeling scientists just dig the idea of poking people in the brain? Just to see what happens?

Class dismissed!

Chicken fat

I have fond memories of the smell you get when you open a fresh bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, so I was a little concerned when I saw the Colonel's pride and joy was going to switch the oil they use to deep-fry their chicken. I still remember when they dropped cane sugar from the Coke recipe, and the trauma makes me twitchy.

But since we already banned KFC from the drive-through window of our lives for their lackadaisical attitude toward poultry abuse — c'mon, I know we have to kill our meat to eat it, but don't be a dick about it — this is the part of the AP story that grabbed me:

Artificial trans fat is so common that the average American eats 4.7 pounds of it a year, according to the Food and Drug Administration, yet so unhealthy, city health officials say it belongs in the same category as food spoiled by poor refrigeration or rodent droppings.

I'll never look at trans fats or rodent droppings in the same loving way again.

Weird science

Normally, I'm right there with Science. We've been buds for a long time, and that gravity thing? Fantastic.

But saying Pluto isn't a planet? I don't care what you say, Science - Pluto will always be a planet in my mind. I know you've got some things to work out, and trying to get everyone to agree on what is and isn't a planet must be tough. But c'mon - this is Pluto we're talking about. He's been a planet since he was discovered in 1930, spinning along the outer reaches of our imaginations for as long as most people have been alive. Pluto is OUR planet (so to speak).

So it crosses orbits with Neptune; so what? What has Neptune done for us lately? At least Uranus gives us a cheap laugh.

So you tell Pluto, out there on his long, lonely circuit through space, looking back at us with puppy-dog eyes, you tell him he's not a planet anymore. Because I'm not gonna do it.


Back on the homefront, we've got bigger problems. Problems about the size of a VW bug.

Giant nests perplex experts

By Garry Mitchell Associated Press MOBILE -- To the bafflement of insect experts, gigantic yellow jacket nests have started turning up in old barns, unoccupied houses, cars and underground cavities across the southern two-thirds of Alabama. Specialists say it could be the result of a mild winter and drought conditions, or multiple queens forcing worker yellow jackets to enlarge their quarters so the queens will be in separate areas. But experts haven't determined exactly what's behind the surprisingly large nests.

I'll tell you what it is - Step 1. Step 2 involves work camps and humans building giant hives. You don't even want to know about Step 3.

Auburn University entomologists, who say they've never seen the nests so large, have been fielding calls about the huge nests from property owners from Dothan up to Sylacauga and over into west-central Alabama's Black Belt. At one site in Barbour County, the nest was as large as a Volkswagen Beetle, said Andy McLean, an Orkin pesticide service manager in Dothan who helped remove it from an abandoned barn about a month ago.
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Entomologist Dr. Charles Ray at the Alabama Cooperative Extension System in Auburn said he's aware of about 16 of what he described as "super-sized" nests in south Alabama. Ray said he's seen 10 of them and cautioned people about going near them because of the yellow jacket's painful sting.

Ladies and gentlemen - your "no-shit" quote of the week.

Polly want a AARGH!!

Like a lot of comics and movies geek, I'm also a science geek. I've probably been a science geek almost as long as I've been into comics, and that's a loooong time. And like a lot of kids, I was all about the dinosaurs (ankylosaurs kick ass!) and prehistory. So you can imagine what a kick I get out of the idea that prehistoric man was hunted by GIANT FRIGGIN' BIRDS!

The Ohio State study determined that eagles would swoop down, pierce monkey skulls with their thumb-like back talons, then hover while their prey died before returning to tear at the skull. Examination of thousands of monkey remains produced a pattern of damage done by birds, including holes and ragged cuts in the shallow bones behind the eye sockets ... Berger went back to the Taung skull, and found traces of the ragged cuts behind the eye sockets.

Oh, holy crap. That's so metal.

photo: AP