If Ken proves to be more sham [than] rock and Fergi beats him, then the Slice hype grows even greater. Dude is already more myth [than] Sasquatch, Chupacabra and a [expletive] unicorn combined. Kevin is the black Yeti.
Holy crap! It's like a chubby Mr. T for a new generation. And there's even more smack in the rest of the story! I wish it was acceptable to call someone out in situations besides sports — I've got a whole list of people I'd come down on like a rain of bony midget fists.