Bean-o-rama

Well, hello!

2009-08-08T17:34:00.003-05:00

Y'know, I never meant for this blog to go into hibernation. I'm not making any promises, but I'll try to update here at least an little more often. I cannot guarantee "quality" or any actual "content."

Case in point: The other day me and Lopez grabbed something to eat at Wienerschnitzel and then I start obsessing about an old commercial from the 90s. I can't remember all of it, but it was part of the "Wienerdude" campaign and it ended with a mom and her daughter sitting at a table and the little girl asks, "Mommy, is Billy a wienerdude?" And the mom says, "Wellll ..." while the camera pans down and there's this like two-year-old kid sitting in a Big Wheel wearing biker leathers with this total shit-eating smirk on his face.

I always found that fucking HILARIOUS.

Oh, and then the voice-over was a weird guy voice mixed with a guitar riff going, "Wienerdoood!" Awesome.

Anyway, this isn't that commercial. As much as I'd like to share it with you, I just couldn't find it. Instead here's a commercial that's pretty funny and, since it was never used, shows how uptight we Americans tend to be — bah and humbug, I say!

Firefly fans - activate!

2009-02-27T13:03:00.005-06:00

To me, fellow Brownshirts!

NASA is naming Node 3 of the International Space Station, and the agency has opened the options up for a vote. So what's one of the possible names for this piece of space-faring hardware?

Serenity!

I think you know what this means, so get crackin' Firefly fans. When I went to the NASA site Serenity already had 86 percent of the vote, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't cast your own ballot. Do you really want to be the one keeping Serenity from reaching space? Do you?!?

(What?! Two posts in one day? Four in a month?!? I know, right?)

Death of a newspaper

2009-02-27T12:25:00.004-06:00

Ugh.

I don't necessarily advocate for the death of newspapers — though I do think they have failed to adapt and evolve, and are victims of natural selection and hubris. But it saddens me to see papers slowly dying, especially when I hear a newspaper like the Rocky Mountain News is shutting down.

I haven't kept up with The Rocky for a while, but at one point it was one of the best small newspapers in the nation. Unfortunately, with all the things negatively affecting the industry right now, The Rocky may be one of the first fatal victims of the current newspaper crisis. Worst of all, I don't think they'll be the last.

As I've told other people, I think journalism — vital and necessary — will survive; I have my doubts about newspapers.

It's a hard thing to admit. In a lot of ways, I still think of myself as a journalist, even though it's been years since I've worked at a newspaper. Many of my friends continue to work at a paper, and I'm sincerely worried about them. But do I think papers deserve to survive? That's the hardest question, and my answer is a solid, "I don't know."

Papers can survive, but only if they recreate themselves to the point they're almost not newspapers anymore, not in the traditional sense. Newspapers, essentially, haven't changed much since movable type. It's time for newspapers to reinvent themselves.

You can read more reactions to the death of the Rocky Mountain News at Editor & Publisher, the Washington Post and Poynter, which goes the extra mile by offering the staff of The Rocky a helping hand. As an interesting sidebar, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer ran a story yesterday about the value of newspapers and the idea of Seattle as a "no-newspaper town." It's a painful, but necessary, concept to consider; otherwise, newspapers will just be continuing to bail water out of a ship that's already sunk.

Heinz sours on famous pickle logo

2009-02-16T12:32:00.003-06:00

Pickle news!

The H.J. Heinz Co., famous for its 57 varieties and various picnic condiments, decided last month to yank the famous gherkin logo from its bottles of ketchup.

What do you mean, "What famous gherkin logo?"

For the last 110 years, Heinz products have featured a tiny image of a pickle on its labels, hearkening back to the second — and arguably, most famous — condiment the company made (horseradish was the first, but who wants to look at a bowl of horseradish?). But now, Heinz is replacing the gherkin on its ketchup bottles with a tomato and the phrase, "Grown, not made."

I have no problems with tomatoes in general, but there's something to be said for tradition. And what bugs me most is the idea that a tomato is supposed to somehow translate to "organic" AND that marketers think we need a picture to remind us of what's actually in a bottle of ketchup.

Attention, Heinz: I KNOW KETCHUP IS MADE FROM TOMATOES.

I'm not going to become suddenly confused when, while squirting the red stuff on my hot dog (not a euphemism), I see a pickle on the bottle. "Oh, no!" I'll cry, "Somehow this condiment that even two year old children recognize has transformed into a bottle of pickle sauce. How could this be? Oh, why didn't I see that pickle warning label sooner?!"

Bah. Do you realize the gherkin was synonymous with Heinz at one time? Some folks know this and have launched a no doubt doomed-to-failure Face book push to save the pickle. It's a nice thought (and at least they're doing something about it), but I doubt Heinz will backtrack. Pickle-haters.

I'm not really upset that the logo is changing — it'll still be on other products — but what bothers me is just the dumbness behind it. Once upon a time, the company used to hand out little "pickle pins" to people so that when they saw a pickle, they'd think of Heinz. Now when I see a tomato on their ketchup labels, I'll be thinking of who to throw one at.

(And yes, I also wanted to use the phrase, "yank the famous gherkin.")

Phrase of the day

2009-02-06T09:56:00.003-06:00

From a conversation with Lopez:

MONKEY-RESISTANT

VEGETABLES

All my favorite restaurants need to come to me

2009-01-08T12:18:00.007-06:00

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Sorry about not posting more often; I could give you a bunch of excuses, many of them reasonable, but let's just say I've been flaking and leave it at that.

As most of you know, Lopez and I just came back from a two-week stay in New York City, and it was fun, incredible, beautiful and grimy, exhilarating and exhausting. I'll put together a better report later, but for now let me tell you about the most fun restaurant I've probably ever been to.

A few blocks from where we were staying, on the hazy borderland between the Lower East Side and Greenwich Village, there are four tiny Indian restaurants side-by-side and stacked on top of each other, so there are two on the basement floor and two on top of them. The person we were renting an apartment from told us to ignore the guys trying to usher you through their particular door and recommended the top-left. That turned out to be Milon.

Glancing in the windows later, I'm guessing the other three eateries are similar, but I can tell you Milon is maybe about six and a half feet wide and maybe 15 feet long (not including the kitchen). Tables are crammed along the sides, leaving a narrow strip that is like a runway for the waiters that need as much poise and flexibility as your average model. And the ceiling - my God, the ceiling - is low and covered with red chili pepper lights, garland, twinkle lights and every other gaudy doodad ever strung on a wire. Going hand-in-hand with the disco fever dream is Indian dance music blaring non-stop from unseen speakers hidden somewhere in the tangle overhead.

It was completely awesome.

I'm a big guy, and my overcoat itself is a monstrous beast to be tamed, so you can imagine what settling in to our table was like. But once we were sitting it was comfortable, cozy even, and the service was attentive and top-notch. And the food itself was delicious, fresh and flavorful.

Eating at Milon is definitely an experience, an event as much as a meal. Lately it seems that whenever me and Lopez travel we end up finding one restaurant that we fall in love with and wish we could go to on a regular basis, dragging our friends there so we can spend hours eating and talking and hanging out. In New York, Milon was that restaurant.

OK, before I go completely into my old restaurant review mode, here are some pictures. Keep in mind that I took these, 1. without a flash, and, 2. pretty much at eye-level and from the very rear of the place. I had to duck when I walked through the place, so I'm not exaggerting when I say it was small. But again, it was cozy, not claustrophobic (shit, there I go again - pictures!).

YES WE DID

2008-11-05T01:33:00.005-06:00

I'm too overwhelmed to say anything that truly expresses how profoundly happy and proud I am that Barack Obama has been elected president of the United States — I'm not sure I'll ever be able to really put it all into words.

But let me just say that, for the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful. This election has renewed my faith in this country, and I feel a rediscovered sense that we have direction, one based on the ideals representing the best aspects of our national identity. Obama will have a tough task ahead of him thanks to the fallout from the worst administration the United States has ever seen, but I'm not worried. We will now have real leadership in the White House and I can't wait to see where it takes us.

I'm very aware that today is draped in history. We've not only rejected the policies and power-plays desecrating the laws this country is founded upon, but we've also given ourselves a mandate. By simultaneously turning our backs on the extremism of the current administration and voting for this country's first black president, we are saying that we want — we need — to be better. To paraphrase a commentator on one of the news channels, tonight, hundreds of years after the birth of our imperfect nation, we have elected a black man to the highest office in our country and in an instant have become that more perfect union.

Let me finish by saying this: I've been lucky enough to see Barack Obama speak twice in person as a Democratic candidate for president. Tonight, I was privileged to watch him on television when he delivered his acceptance speech as the president-elect.

Hey electorate, can you do me a solid?

2008-11-03T08:53:00.001-06:00

Dear America,

Tomorrow is Election Day, and I have a few favors to ask:

Don't be stupid.

Don't be racist.

Don't be hypocritical.

Don't be petty.

Thank you.

We voted for Barack Obama

2008-10-29T19:31:00.005-05:00

Back in the car, driving away from the polling station, Lopez started to cry a little.

We just cast our votes for Barack Obama for president, and it was an emotional moment for both of us. I teared up while I was waiting for my turn at the poll myself. It struck me that I'd always hoped to see the day when America would reach the point that a black man would have a real chance at being elected president, but I don't think I ever thought I would. Too many people have been too willfully ignorant for too long for me not to be cynical.

But the fact that we were able to vote for the candidate that will be best for the country and who just happens to be black speaks to the message of hope the Obama campaign has been pushing. Casting that vote is in itself an act of faith, faith in not just the candidate but also in the better nature of the American people. Hopefully that faith is not misplaced, and we can begin getting this country back on track.

But for now, I have never been prouder of the American democratic process, or of taking part in that process as a voter.

Be sure to get out there and vote, everybody: Be a part of the process, be a part of something bigger than yourself — be a part of history.

The art of the taco truck

2008-10-02T16:51:00.005-05:00

Every now and then Lopez and I will walk to work, and in the parking lot of a little apartment complex we pass by there's this little taco truck. It's never actually open, it's just parked there, but it's got some neato paint work on it so I thought I'd snap a few shots of the detail before the trailer disappeared.

I like the way Pedro Infante looks as if he's waiting to take a drink from the tap in that last one. By the way, the name of this taco outfit? La Fantabulous!

And yeah, yeah, I know this is kind of a lazy post, but gimme a break — you've got to ease back into this sorta thing. Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes, I'll be watching the debate tonight. I told a co-worker that I'll either develop spontaneous ulcers or my head will crack open and a moose will jump out. I'll keep you updated.

(Seen on Shoal Creek Boulevard, near 183)

Your smack-talkin' quote of the day

2008-08-29T11:03:00.004-05:00

I'm not a fan of extreme fighting — oh, sorry, "mixed martial arts" — but this kind of smack-talk might change my mind:

If Ken proves to be more sham [than] rock and Fergi beats him, then the Slice hype grows even greater. Dude is already more myth [than] Sasquatch, Chupacabra and a [expletive] unicorn combined. Kevin is the black Yeti.

Holy crap! It's like a chubby Mr. T for a new generation. And there's even more smack in the rest of the story! I wish it was acceptable to call someone out in situations besides sports — I've got a whole list of people I'd come down on like a rain of bony midget fists.

I (yi-yi), Robot

2008-08-14T10:24:00.006-05:00

This is how it starts, y'know. Did we not learn anything from the replicants and Skynet?

From Live Science:

Scientists have created a robot controlled by a biological brain made of rat neurons. The robot, named Gordon, is not exactly an Einstein but represents a remarkable bridging of the gap between biology and technology. Gordon relies a dish with about 60 electrodes to pick up electrical signals generated by the brain cells. The brain drives the robot's movements.

HOLY SHIT. And then there's this:

The robot has no additional control from a human or a computer, the scientists state. Its sole means of control is from its own brain.

It's own brain, you doomed meat-sacks! And finally:

The researchers aim to get the robot to learn, by applying different signals as it moves into predefined positions. That might allow them to witness how memories manifest themselves in the brain when the robot revisits familiar territory. They hope the work will eventually lead to a better understanding of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, stroke and brain injuries.

Yeah, right. You know what that robot's going to learn?

Exactly.

I got nothing

2008-08-11T11:09:00.005-05:00

Due to popular demand (ahem), this blog has been roused from it's crusty-eyed slumber and given a kick in the keister. It's a big keister, though, so it's still gonna be kinda slow-moving until it's had some coffee first.

Let's see — so what's been going on? Let's bullet-point this sucker:

• We still support Obama, even though conservative knuckleheads are trying to scare people by hinting that he might be the Anti-Christ. Hell, I might be supporting him even more now. And at least it would probably mean Infernaeon or The Sword would play the Inauguration. Also, people who think so little of the citizens that they would try to convince them some dude's the Anti-Christ would no longer be in charge. So, y'know, there's that.

• Speaking of stupid people — I really thought John Edwards was smarter than that. That'll teach me.

• Was I the only one who had visions of "Red Dawn" when the news first broke that Russia had attacked Georgia?

• I haven't seen the movie yet so I'm trying to hold off on straight-out judgment, but isn't it weird that Robert Downey Jr. is basically doing blackface in "Tropic Thunder"? I get that it's supposed to be satire, but still ... I hope it's used to say something other than, "ain't race funny?!"

• And finally, this:

And yet, I'm not satisfied

2008-07-01T13:43:00.005-05:00

I'm kind of busy with work right now, so I can't really get into the details of this story about the Iraqi government meeting U.S. benchmarks except to say ... well, bullshit.

From AP:

The White House sees the progress in a particularly positive light, declaring in a new assessment to Congress that Iraq's efforts on 15 of 18 benchmarks are "satisfactory" — almost twice of what it determined to be the case a year ago.

Wait for it ... waaaait for it ...

The May 2008 report card, obtained by the Associated Press, determines that only two of the benchmarks — enacting and implementing laws to disarm militias and distribute oil revenues — are unsatisfactory.

Oh — IS THAT ALL?!

OK, now that I'm good and pissed — back to work. Oh, one more thing: Is it just me, or does anyone else remember getting a "satisfactory" on your report card meaning you weren't doing so hot?

Behold, the future is now!

2008-06-10T16:01:00.005-05:00

So far, most of these candid photo posts tend to sound like "why I love Austin" posts, but I can't help it. Things like this tend to happen all the time here — and that's pretty awesome.

We went to First Thursday with some friends last week, and for no real reason (that I could tell) this person was walking up and down the street in a homemade robot costume, waving to people and posing for cameras.

And yup, the robot would do The Robot.

(I just wish my camera wasn't acting up, because the first picture I tried to take was better than this one. Damn!)

With some of the grumbling you'll hear about how gentrified this particular section of South Congress has become, and how First Thursday is becoming a marketing tool more than a means for community outreach, it's nice to see that a wackily DIY spirit still strolls up and down the boulevard.

Next time I need to get a picture of the Free Hugs folks, who I'm guessing are part of this whole thing. In other places, having a stranger come up to you and say, "Want a free hug? If you don't like it, you can give it back!" would seem annoyingly odd or hopelessly hippy. Here it's just kinda — nice.

Domo arigato, Austin!

(Seen on South Congress Avenue, somewhere around Monroe and Annie streets)

This post is a lot like Hobo Soup

2008-05-29T10:56:00.008-05:00

It's been a while since either one of us posted, so here are some random thoughts I've been meaning to blog about but just haven't found the gumption to do it.

That's right, gumption — now get outta my way, I've got some prospectin' to do!

• The Austin Aztex continue their stellar debut season, and since the last time I posted have crushed the DFW Tornados 3-0 and beat the Laredo Heat — defending PDL champs — 1-0. Thanks to that, as well as a separate loss by the Mississippi Brilla, the Aztex qualified for a spot in the 2008 U.S. Open Cup! The team followed that news up with another win, sending the New Orleans Shell Shockers packing with a score of 1-0. The home team will now face the Atlanta Silverbacks in the first round of Open Cup play June 10th, but not before a match against Mississippi May 31.

Of course, I'm waiting for the next home game, which will be against the El Paso Patriots (boo, hiss!). The Patriots held the Aztex to a scoreless tie the last time they met, so it's a chance for a little redemption!

• Oh, yes, actually, this time I actually am growing a beard. It's not just a case of me not shaving.

• For a variety of reasons, Lopez! and I have been trying to pretend the car doesn't exist. It's not the car's fault and we're not trying to shun it or anything, we just want to see if we can get along without it.

This probably seems ridiculous to some people, but we'd really like to eliminate (or at least minimize) our reliance on a car. There are a few reasons for this: it would mean no car loan and insurance payments, so we'd be able to save that cash; gas is getting stupidly expensive and all I can see is oil company people taking money baths; Austin is supposed to have a small train system up and running by the end of summer, and the bus routes should be beefed up soon; and speaking of buses, most of what we do is in a particular area so walking and bussing is feasible.

In the last couple of weeks I think we've used the car a total of four times, which we think is pretty good. We walk to work and take the bus everywhere else, and it's surprising how quickly you get used to not having a car. There are still some things that are just easier with your own ride, of course, but it's a process and we're working on it. Hopefully we'll get some decent bikes soon, and I think that will help us use the car even less. We even got month-long bus passes!

• Corner Gas is an excellent show with a loopy, gentle humor and you should watch it if you can. At this point it's basically Canadian reruns, but we try to catch it every night. In Austin it's on cable channel 21 (WGN) at 11 p.m. — is it on anywhere else? And why the hell doesn't Netflix have it yet?!

• So is everyone willing to admit that this has been one of the worst — if not the worst — administration in the history of the United States? Oh, and Hillary? Please, just stop it already.

• Finally, things I did last night.

Seriously, I'm going to talk about this once a week

2008-05-17T00:01:00.005-05:00

I meant to mention it earlier, but the Aztex won their first home game, 2-0 against the Houston Leones!

It was a good, fast-paced match, with the Aztex dominating game-play and putting pressure on the Leones from start to finish. The team looked good, and combined with a first-game tie against the El Paso Patriots (ppbbth) the Aztex are now at the top of the division. Most of the players looked pretty tight, and the team seemed to work well together (No. 23's got to cool off though — I thought the guy was going to start a fight, and that's not going to help him or the team).

It was a freakin' humid night, but there were about 1,500 people there (which was a lot more than we were expecting) and Lopez said it reminded her of going to a Diablos game in El Paso.

Oh! And my mom and nephew were in town visiting, so it was nice that we were able to take them to a fun game.

Next up — the utter destruction of the DFW Tornados!

Photo lifted from the Austin Aztex Web site

Chico's vs Chuco's: FIGHT!!

2008-05-08T09:43:00.002-05:00

It was bound to happen sooner or later; Chico's Tacos in El Paso is suing Chuco's Tacos in Austin for trademark infringement.

For what it's worth, the guys at Chuco's (fellow El Paso homies — represent!) must have know they were cutting it thin, what with the name, the tacos and (arguably) the logo.

But even though Chico's might be an El Paso institution, they don't have a lock on flautas submerged in a thin chile sauce. And like I told Lopez!, Chuco's is what Chico's would be if Chico's gave a shit about quality. It's not the same as Chico's — what could be? — but it's pretty good and I do get a jones for them a lot like I do for Chico's, so I hope they push through this BS and keep rocking the taquitos.

The Statesman has the story and one of the guys from Taco Journalism is quoted toward the end, so go give it a read, fellow El Pasoans, and let me know what you think.

Dammit — now I want some taquitos!

Attention El Paso: The Austin Aztex are going to kick your ass

2008-05-02T21:36:00.003-05:00

Let the smack-talk begin!

The Austin Aztex play their first game tomorrow and I'm ridiculously, annoyingly excited about the city's new soccer team. They'll be playing against the El Paso Patriots (Boooo!) and will play their first home game versus the Houston Leones next week.

You're going down, El Paso! Houston — you're next!

Boooo! BOOOOOO!!!!!

My mouth is dry and I can't find the pillow

2008-05-01T17:19:00.004-05:00

When I woke up from a dream at about 5:30 this morning, I found myself blinking at the soft, pre-dawn light outlining the blinds I could see across the bedroom. Which was weird, since I wear glasses and usually can't see shit without them.

And that's when I realized I WAS wearing them.

Huh.

My dreams are usually pretty mundane, with the exception of The Giant Talking Cockroach Dream, The Awesome Flying Dream and The Zombie Hoard Dream. Otherwise it's always something like me talking to people at work, or at a sedate get-together if my brain's feeling particularly frisky. A lot of times there are complete strangers in my dreams, and I wonder if my sleep is populated with the faces of people I see on the street.

Often I write in my dreams, and if I can remember enough of it I'll scribble it down. When I look at it later there's a fifty percent chance it's the kernel of an interesting idea, and half a chance that it's something completely ridiculous that doesn't make sense even to me. I did write a Halloween poem in a dream that ended up winning third place in a real-life school contest once, so that was cool.

Exciting stuff, right? My dream last night wasn't an exception:

I was in an office that was an wide-open space, with great big windows along one side and the back (the direction I was facing), and for some reason I think it was in Canada. It felt Canada-y. And I was talking to some woman (another stranger) who had given me a piece of paper to look at; I got the feeling that I wasn't just looking at it, I was evaluating it. Basically, I was some kind of low-level boss (even in my dreams I try to avoid too much responsibility).

And I had taken my glasses off to look at whatever tiny spot I was supposed to looking at, because I'm near-sighted and I can see things that are close-up better without them. I told her something (approved! I'm a good boss!) and REACHED DOWN AND PUT MY GLASSES BACK ON.

[end dream]

So I think I reached out and put my glasses on IN MY SLEEP! And I never do things like that! Except apparently I do.

Consider this a warning if you see me wandering the countryside in the late-hours, glasses in hand and trying to hand you imaginary pieces of paper.

That old song and dance

2008-04-28T09:33:00.004-05:00

Lopez and I saw Young@Heart this weekend, which is a movie about senior citizens singing renditions of popular modern songs as part of a choir. Who knew someone could actually make me like a song by Coldplay?

It's a very sweet, funny and inspirational documentary that was bittersweet but somehow always uplifting. There were times when it felt almost as if we were watching a PBS special, but that's a compliment more than a criticism. Oh, and if you think a movie about a bunch of old folks singing songs that suddenly have extra layers of hopefulness and a sense of mortality would be at all sentimental ... well, their version of "Fix You" kills me every time. And when they go to the prison and sing ... agh, sorry, that sound you hear is my heart breaking all over again.

During the movie, this was my tally:

Wistful smiles: 14

Heavy sighs: 8

Teared up: at least five times

Full-on wept: three times

I guess my kindergarten teacher was right — I really am sensitive. That's one for you, you old bag!

Spiced ham, part 2

2008-04-15T16:58:00.004-05:00

Awww ... the Internet really does care about me. Why else would it send me this e-mail?

"Relax. Take a Deep Breath.
We have the answers you seek."

Enlightenment and "impressive growth!" Thanks, Internet!

Today, I am an Austinite

2008-04-14T11:32:00.006-05:00

If you live in Austin, or if you've even spent more than a few hours here, you'll notice something: Almost everyone wears flip-flops.

It used to drive me crazy, what with the constant slapping sound everywhere you went combined with the lazy shuffle that seems to go with it. And it's not just the college girls going on White House visits, either. Men, women, old, young, at home, in the office or at a fancy restaurant, flip-flops are everywhere. Longtime Austinites wear their chanclas like a badge of honor, and will even wear them when it frickin' freezing, Mr. Bigglesworth.

I personally never liked flip-flops because my memories of them go back to the 70s, when they were made of rubber and would gouge the skin between your big toe and whatever the toe next to it is called, while driving those damn knobs into both your immortal soul and the soles of your feet at the same time. But now, after six (seven?) years of living in Austin, I've given in.

I tell myself that my new sandals are more like my beloved huaraches, but no matter how thin you slice it, it's still baloney. And that's OK. Like Picard and the Borg, I get absorbed further into the Austin lifestyle every day, and it is futile to resist. My flip-flops are comfortable, and my toes are enjoying their newfound freedom.

I've been fa-lap fa-lap fa-lapping around the office all morning, no doubt sending a duck-footed call recognized and answered by fellow Austinites everywhere.

And now, your president

2008-03-28T14:43:00.004-05:00

From an AP story on the escalating violence in Iraq:

"Basra has been a place where criminality has thrived," Bush said. "They are fighting some pretty tough characters ... and yes, there's going to be violence, and that's sad."

Also, the president declares Iraq still "purty as a Pecos sunset" and pledges that Administration policy will "git-r-done."

But they've got lapel flags and yellow-ribbon stickers, so it's OK

2008-03-20T15:34:00.009-05:00

Because nothing says you love America like subverting one of its most basic principles and a cornerstone of democracy:

Can GOP Voters Spoil the Dem Race?

By Hilary Hylton

As if Democrats didn't have enough problems deciding upon their presidential nominee this year, now they must contend with the possibility that Republicans are deliberately crossing party lines to prolong the bitterly contested race between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. In recent weeks, conservative talk radio stars Rush Limbaugh and Laura Ingraham have urged loyal listeners to vote for the much-despised Clinton in open Democratic primaries so as to prevent Obama from sealing the nomination, and there are some indications that their calls have already been heeded in states like Texas and Mississippi.

Here's the quote that made my gut twist.

"As Republican participation increased, Hillary got more votes," Mann said. Some of them came from Allison Cavey's family. "My whole family actually voted for Hillary in the Texas primaries and we are all McCain supporters," said Cavey, 32, a Dallas resident who works for a medical software company. "We all thought it would be easier to beat Hillary in the fall. Also, we all agreed that if for some reason a Democrat won the election we would be better off with Hillary than Obama ... scary thought!"

I just have one question: What is WRONG with you people?! Do you really think it's just been seven years of George Bush farting rainbows and rose petals? Stop acting like a bunch of brainless, adolescent gangsters and do the right thing. If you can't handle even that much, at least stop doing the WRONG thing.

Gah - read the whole article if you think you can do it without your head exploding.

The ocean hates you

2008-03-20T14:16:00.001-05:00

I'm beginning to think the creatures of the sea are conspiring against us, and the rays are behind it all. According to Reuters:

Jumping eagle ray kills boater off Florida Keys

By Jane Sutton
MIAMI (Reuters) - An eagle ray leaped onto a boat off the Florida Keys on Thursday and stabbed a woman with its barb, knocking her to the deck and killing her, a Florida wildlife investigator said.

"It's a bizarre accident," said Jorge Pino, an agent with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

Accident my ass — we're screwed, man! Screwed!!

Obama makes history — and the poor man's Billy Joel

2008-03-18T21:55:00.018-05:00

One of these days I'll actually write a coherent, full-on post about a specific topic again, but in the meantime here are some random thoughts:

• I have never felt as proud or as committed to a politician as I am for Barack Obama tonight. His speech on race today will be considered historic, and if he is not our next president it would to America's shame. Time has a good analysis of the speech.

• For what it's worth, I think Rev. Wright's statements weren't expressed in the best way, but I don't think he was wrong, either.

• Speaking of race, I thought this was interesting:

Immigration Reduces Crime Rates

By LiveScience Staff

Contrary to popular stereotypes, areas undergoing immigration are associated with lower violence, not spiraling crime, according to a new study.

...

Not only does immigration appear to be "protective" against violence in poverty areas, violence was significantly lower among Mexican-Americans compared to blacks and whites. Sampson refers to this as the "Latino Paradox," whereby Hispanic Americans do better on a range of social indicators — including propensity to violence — than one would expect, given their socioeconomic disadvantages.

Sampson’s analysis also revealed that first-generation immigrants were 45 percent less likely to commit violence than third-generation Americans. Controlling for immigrant generation even narrowed the violence gap between whites and blacks in Chicago by 14 percent.

...

Immigration is therefore not just a Hispanic issue; although little noticed, increasing foreign-born diversity among blacks (e.g., from the West Indies and Africa) is associated with lower crime even within segregated black communities.

The whole article is right here.

• Holy shit — is that Apollonia in the Shakin' video?!

• So right now I'm going through about four years of photos on the ol' laptop, so expect to see photos popping up here on a fairly regular basis. Y'know, random stuff like this picture from the 2004 Austin Kite Festival:

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Farewell, Dungeon Master

2008-03-04T14:21:00.003-06:00

I know I said I was tired of obits, but I couldn't let the death of Dungeons & Dragons co-creator Gary Gygax just go by without comment.

Even if you don't game, you've more than likely felt the influence of the granddaddy of role-playing games. I only started playing myself a few years ago (I could never find anyone who actually knew how to run a game), but it was the sort of thing you just sort of knew about, even if it was in a roundabout way. In the same way Robert E. Howard's Conan influenced the makers of D&D, D&D influenced other media.

If you're old enough (or geeky enough) you might remember the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon, which is still one of my favorites. When I was a teenager I also played a lot of Gauntlet — I always chose the barbarian — and of course there were tons of movies and books that owed a lot to D&D. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Dungeons & Dragons-inspired script floating around Hollywood right now. And even today, right this second, there's a d20 hanging from the zipper on my messenger bag.

I haven't played D&D for a few months now, and I miss it. I like hanging out with friends and doing something that's inherently silly but also creative, imaginative and just fun. Gary Gygax deserves thanks for giving people a way to do that.

So ... where's the keg?

2008-02-28T11:57:00.003-06:00

From Lopez!:

George Lopez was in El Paso to campaign for Obama. This is a quote from one of UTEP's best and brightest:

"This was fun and more entertaining than Hillary's rally, but I'm not going for either one of them right now," said Jacob Torres, 20, a sophomore education major. "Some of the stuff they're promising is kind of hard to accomplish."

=l

Honestly, a fire was probably just a matter of time

2008-02-18T10:27:00.008-06:00

I know it will never — and probably shouldn't — happen, but if newspapers gave their reporters some sort of prize for best quote of the week, Zahria Torres would've been the winner.

This is from a story about a fire and some unruly customers at one of the restaurants of legendary El Paso chain, Chico's Tacos:

"We understand the sacrifice they had to make leaving possibly a double order of Chico's Tacos with extra cheese behind, but when an emergency response agency asks you to evacuate, including firefighters and police officers, it's usually because it's an emergency," said Lt. Mario Hernandez, the spokesman for the Fire Department. "So hopefully they'll realize this morning that they overreacted a little bit."

When you're interviewing someone, every now and then you get this moment where there's a part of your brain screaming, "This quote is GOLD!" And if you're from El Paso, this quote is even better (you can tell that cop knows what he's talking about ... oh, he knows).

The whole story is pretty funny actually, and for you lazy mugs out there it's also short, so go read the whole thing before it's lost to archiving.

Photo lifted from Interstellarlass' Flickr site

It's pink and it's oval

2008-02-11T12:54:00.002-06:00

Man, I'm tired of writing obits — I thought I was done with that! Seriously, it's a habit that needs to be broken.

So, to shake that off I give you today's best message line from the junk folder:

"Turn your garden tool into a POWER DRILL!"

He got a bigger boat

2008-02-11T12:11:00.000-06:00

Like a lot of people, I was sad to hear Roy Scheider died yesterday after fighting multiple myeloma — a type of blood cancer — for the past three years. His death was kind of a surprise to me, because I hadn't heard anything about him being sick and I had no idea he was 75.

I'm pretty sure he still could've kicked my ass.

Thanks, of course, to Jaws, Scheider was one of my favorite actors, even if he wouldn't have come immediately to mind if anyone had asked. But looking at his filmography I realized that he was not only an actor I was always glad to see on-screen, he was also in a lot of movies I really, really enjoy.

Jaws might've been where I first saw Scheider, but I also thought he was great in the underappreciated 2010. And I tend to hate all those '70s-era "I'm-a-performer-and-I'm-gonna-make-it!" movies, but I'll give All That Jazz a break due to Scheider's intense turn as a Broadway choreographer. He was in a ton of other movies, some good (The French Connection, Marathon Man) and some not as good (Dracula II, anyone?), but he never just phoned it in.

Just recently me and Lopez were watching Law & Order: CI and up popped Scheider and holy crap was he creepy! Seriously, he freaked us out, and he did it with this small, quietly menacing bit of acting on what is now basically a cable cop show. It made us appreciate him as an actor all over again.

I'd guess that one of the cable movie channels is going to have some sort of Scheider retrospective, which means poor Lopez is going to have to sit through yet another viewing of Jaws, and probably 2010, too. If we're lucky, someone will dig out Blue Thunder.

Photo nabbed from The Shark Is Still Working

Some random thoughts

2008-01-31T10:44:00.000-06:00

• Like a big, hairy baby, a lack of sleep makes me cranky.

• So the national economy is collapsing under its own weight, so badly people are finally beginning to at least whisper the word "recession" out loud. It's going to get worse before it gets better, the average citizen is going to suffer the brunt of the downturn, and the government and banking industry are still trying to act like they're trying to save a burning building even though they provided the matches and oily rags. And I'm wondering if there's an accidental silver lining in all this: Before the economy became the Big News (what do you mean people are dying in Iraq? Afghanistan who?), there was a disturbing rise in Administration rhetoric about Iran. Sabres were rattling and experts were actually coming out and saying, desperately, "No! Bad!" but it didn't look as if anyone was listening. Now the Administration is forced to pay attention to something else. Here's my question: Did the failing economy save us from war with Iran?

(At least temporarily. I'd predict that as soon as the economy improves, or at least stabilizes, we'll be hearing more about how scared we're supposed to be of people who speak Persian. It'll be a non-starter, but still — the Administration's nuts.)

• I've got some really good friends, and I feel very lucky about that.

• That Tribeca coffee at Einstein Bagels? That's pretty good stuff right there.

• My wife is also awesome.

• I just found out that this blog is the first result if you Google "worst soup flavors."

• I haven't gamed (RPG) in something like two months. Why have the 12 Gods forsaken me? Why?!?

• If I could, I would totally grow a big ol' handlebar mustache.

Chili today, hot tamale

2008-01-24T12:08:00.001-06:00

Every now and then I get a craving for something I can only get in El Paso. I don't know if it's because of the cold weather, a hankerin' for cheap beef and grease, or what, but I just got hit with a major craving for a bowl of chili from Big Bun.

Does Big Bun even still exist, El Paso people? If anyone has had the chili recently — or even better, if someone actually goes and has some today — and sends me an obscenely graphic description of the experience, I will both love and hate you forever.

Photo swiped from Mattie & Den's Flickr site

Also, I totally stole this posts' title from Christy.

I hate memes ... but try this one

2008-01-02T13:43:00.001-06:00

You might not have noticed, but me and Lopez! tend to avoid all that meme, quizes, "tag-you're-it" bullshit, but I couldn't resist it this time. This was fun and let me flex some creative muscles I don't get to use all that often. It's not the sort of thing that you can just click your way through, which was something else I liked about it.

OK, so here's what you do:

1. Go to Wikipedia and hit "random." The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

2 - Go to random quotations: The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

3 - Go to Flickr and click on "Explore the last seven days." Go to the third picture in the queue and, no matter what it is, it will be the image for your album cover. I'm guessing you guys know how to grab images from the Web.

http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/

4 - Use Photoshop or something similar to put it all together.

I'd really like to see what you guys come up with so if you end up making one, drop a link in the comments so you can share with the class.

For my contribution, I like to think Gøncruszka is a jangly Euronoise band from somewhere in Finland or Norway, with traces of its early black metal days slipping in now and then on the album To Attack Our Civilization.

Reading is fundamental

2007-12-14T15:27:00.000-06:00

So, Lopez! flew out of Austin early this morning on her way to Mexico City and the start of a week-long visit with family. The trip was a last-minute sort of thing so I wasn't able to go along, which if you know us is an almost unheard of splitting of the atom.

Everyone keeps telling me I'm "a bachelor for a week!" and basically saying I get to indulge in all my guilty pleasures without having to lobby for it or, at the least, getting the stink-eye for ordering the bacon burger. But honestly? When this sort of thing does happen, all I wind up doing is pouting like a kid because my best friend isn't around, and moping around the house talking to the cats waaaaay too much. And I watch TV and read a lot.

With that in mind, I made a trip to the library to pick up some supplies, including:

The Midnight Choir (an Irish crime novel)

Yojimbo (Kurosawa movie I've seen in bits and pieces, but never from start to finish)

The Kindaichi Case Files Vol. 5 (manga I keep hearing is good)

Stardust (illustrated prose I've never gotten around to reading)

Phonogram Vol. 1 (read the first issue, dropped it, and now I keep hearing how great it's supposed to be — we'll see)

I might just be doing what the pleasantly plump do when they show up to a buffet depressed, grabbing anything that looks half-interesting and cramming it in (my brain — honest!). Because I've already got a couple of library books I'm reading, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and Imperial Life in the Emerald City.

Yikes. If I start getting all my meals delivered, I might be in trouble ... maybe I'll go to a buffet ...

Cutting the cheese: In which I make a completely sexist observation

2007-12-10T12:48:00.000-06:00

Why can't most women cut it?

Wait — let me amend that. Why can't any of the women I know slice?

Specifically, I'm talking about cutting and slicing of the deli persuasion, and I'm basing this on these completely baseless observations: My mom is notorious for literally hacking at blocks of cheese as if she were really lactose intolerant; my wife, Lopez!, cuts at a slant no matter how hard she tries; and every time I go to get some meat and cheese at my office common area after a female co-worker, it looks like a murder scene.

Lemme 'splain that last part. The company I work for deals with a lot of outside vendors, independent companies and service providers that help produce our end product. So, during the holiday season they tend to send us stuff in appreciation of the working relationship we share.

In other words, we get sent a lot of free stuff, most of which you can eat.

I'm new to this department, but since it works most heavily with vendors its' end-of-year booty is legendary. Tins of cookies and popcorn, smoked sausages and cheeses, even smoked salmon and whole spiral-cut hams find their way to the office. It's like heaven, and God is the head manager at a really good Hickory Farms.

Today we received a couple of sausages and blocks of cheese, and that's when I noticed that — like my wife, mom, grandmother and sister — the women I work with apparently don't slice straight, either.

Whuh? Is it because the whole turkey-carving, a-dull-knife-is-more-dangerous, Jim-Bowie-died-fighting-with-a-knife-named-after-himself thing is one of those macho rites of passage passed down from father to son? This theory, of course, doesn't include women who are professional cutters like butchers, surgeons and that girl who tore my heart out in fifth grade. I'm talking about the average woman who seems to leave a ragged trail of destruction and mutilated foodstuffs at cutting boards everywhere.

Of course, I've seen plenty of men who wield a knife as if it were a broom they were using to put out a flaming mouse. But generally, I've noticed this more with women.

So answer me this — do the women you know stink at cutting the cheese?

(Hey guys — Nel here. Obviously, this is meant to be tongue-in-cheek. OK? OK! And ladies, seriously — what did that block of muenster ever do to you?!?)

Big Mac attack

2007-12-06T14:40:00.000-06:00

Is Ronald McDonald gonna have ta slap a bitch?!?

(via Kyle!)

69 years of pure Evel

2007-11-30T21:23:00.000-06:00

As a kid in the 70s, I grew up with a unique kind of hero. There were still the astronauts, the firemen and SWAT cops, but above all there were the stuntmen.

It may have been a golden age for these daredevils, with TV specials and movies bringing them out of the background and into the spotlight. I remember growing up watching men rocketing their motorcycles over cars and through flaming rings, and women blowing themselves up in crates packed with dynamite. My toy box included the Evel Knievel stunt cycle, which you'd crank until it shot out across the floor and, appropriately enough, would usually crash spectacularly and send its helmeted rider flying. Somewhere I still have a Hot Wheels version of the Skycycle he rode down to the bottom of Snake River Canyon.

Hard-drinkin', hard-lovin' and just plain hard-livin', these men and women were with me as I jumped my bicycle off curbs and down ditches filled with cattails. But none stood as tall as Knievel.

For me, and for a lot of people (I think it'd be safe to call him the Godfather of Extreme Sports), Knievel was King. And now, after almost 40 broken bones and countless feats of daring, the King is dead at 69, ongoing illness being the one crash-landing he couldn't bounce back from.

Here's to you, Evel Knievel — thanks for showing me that a life without risk isn't worth living, and death is nothing to fear. You might not have had a perfect life, but you sure lived the hell out of it.

I don't remember where I heard it, but here's a riddle for you.

Q: Why didn't Evel Knievel make it across Snake River Canyon?

A: He was weighed down by his enormous balls.

Speaking of Snake River, here's some video, too:

Evel Knievel's Caesar's Palace jump (and legendary wipeout)!

Big Mack attack!

Snake River Canyon!

And this is just awesome.

Pulpo

2007-11-27T16:29:00.000-06:00

A souvenir octopus swizzle stick, bought from a glassblower in Juarez and now taking up residence on my desk at work.

No. 1 with a bullet list

2007-11-24T17:04:00.000-06:00

You know what's the one thing I don't like about coming home after a trip out of town? The way air gets trapped in the water pipes. When I took a shower today it sounded like a bagpipe was strangling a cat.

Lopez! and Quile have a problem with those media darlings, Perverted Justice — mostly with its poor word usage:

Lopez!: Perverted Justice? I don't even know what that means!

Quile: It should be "Justice for Perverts."

Hey, we've got friends who sell stuff — don't you want to celebrate the Savior's birthday by buying some of it? Jesus would want you to. So go check out Lisa's stuff, and then take a look at Lindy's.

So Blogger asked me if I wanted to update this template and I said sure and now everything looks goofy. And that's why all the text looks so ginormous now. Which means we'll be tinkering with it, so bear with us while things are being moved around, added or dropped.

Wow. This is possibly the most random post yet.

The problem with journalism today

2007-11-06T16:26:00.000-06:00

"I don't know what that has to do
with the product."

— UT Austin journalism student at a Jim Lehrer lecture last night, regarding what the student considered a professor's overemphasis on interviewing skills.

Why I love my wife, Reason #3,782

2007-10-18T09:14:00.000-05:00

As I was walking into the kitchen this morning, Lopez and I started a conversation like this:

Me: Hey, you wanna hear something gross?

Lopez: Yes.

Geek check: I should've had a d8

2007-10-12T15:10:00.000-05:00

While I was moving my notebooks, camera and other stuff from one bag to another last night, I started looking at my gaming bag as a possible candidate.

(I'm looking for The Perfect Bag, and even though I know I don't own it I keep hoping one of them will surprise me some day; it's a search second only to my quest for The Perfect Pen.)

If you game, you know what a gaming bag is; in my case, it's a backpack I use to carry my scratch paper and pencils and player's guides and whatever else I need when I'm gaming. Of course, this also means that most of my dice are in this bag. And of course, this means I ended up spending a good half-hour or so reorganizing my dice.

REORGANIZING MY DICE.

Hey man, I needed to make sure I had plenty of d6. And then I read this entry on Wil Wheaton's blog today and was reminded that not only is he a fantastic writer and seemingly all-around good-guy, but he understands. A Yahtzee cup? C'mon.

I know most of my friends are geeks, nerds and dorks in one way or another, so let me hear it - what geeky thing have you done lately?

Thank you, Satan!

2007-10-05T14:43:00.000-05:00

And also thanks to E, because with the exception of the clock radio this morning I literally haven't listened to anything but Dethklok since yesterday. What I need is a dethklok radio.

If you've got any metal in your soul (and a sense of humor about it), YOU NEED THIS. It's seriously one of the best metal albums I've heard in a long time, which is pretty good for a fictional band with real talent. Go get it, and pick up the Season 1 DVD while you're at it!

Also, I may now be guilty of this.

Dear Brazil: Bite me

2007-09-27T15:37:00.000-05:00

It sounds greedy, considering that the U.S. Women's team was in position to possibly win its third World Cup title, but dammit, Brazil, are you going to dominate women's soccer, too?

Isn't it enough that you've got Ronaldhino? Now we've got to contend with Marta as well? Look at her over there - she's a machine! And beating the U.S. 4-0? That's just overkill, man. C'mon.

And yeah, I know this is the first time Brazil will be competing for the title, but I know how it goes. You get a little taste of victory and suddenly you don't want to share any more. I've seen how you operate, Brazil, and I'm afraid this is only the beginning.

Just look at the kinds of stories I'm having to read now:

USA Falls, 4-0, Brazil in 2007 FIFA World Cup Semifinals

HANGZHOU, China (Sept. 27, 2007) – The U.S. Women’s National Team endured a nightmare first half in which it scored an own goal and saw midfielder Shannon Boxx ejected. The U.S. was forced to chase the rest of the game against the dynamic and talented Brazilians who scored twice in both halves to defeat the USA, 4-0.
…

The first 20 minutes of the game saw clattering fouls from both teams, leading to free kicks in dangerous spots. Brazil forced some early pressure as well, hitting a free kick in the seventh minute that was deflected by U.S. goalkeeper Briana Scurry, off a Brazilian player and out of bounds.

The USA gifted Brazil its first goal in the 20th minute, coming off a corner kick that was spun to the near post. With no Brazilian players close to getting a touch on it, it skidded off the turf as midfielder Leslie Osborne dove to clear it, but instead inadvertently headed the ball into her own net from close range.

The second Brazil goal came seven minutes later on a piece of magical dribbling from Brazilian star Marta, who won a ball from defender Stephanie Lopez down the right flank. She dribbled inside and darted free, shooting between closing U.S. defenders Kate Markgraf and Cat Whitehill. Scurry got a hand on the ball, but couldn’t turn it outside the right post.
…

Then disaster struck in stoppage time of the first half.

Boxx had received an early yellow card in the 15th minute for upending a Brazilian player and was caught chasing a Brazilian counter attack in the 46th minute. Brazilian forward Cristiane bumped Boxx from behind, got tangled in her legs and both went down in a heap. In a harsh decision by referee Nicole Petignat, she whistled the foul, pulled out a second yellow, then red and sent Boxx to the locker room.

U.S. head coach Greg Ryan inserted Carli Lloyd for Lopez at halftime as the USA went to a 3-4-2 formation, but against the talented Brazilians and playing a woman down, the Americans faced a daunting task to get back in the game.
…

The end of the game belonged to Marta, who put on a dazzling display of dribbling and scored the capper in the 80th minute. She took a chipped pass from Renata Costa in the left side of the penalty box with her back to the goal, flicked the bouncing ball around substitute Tina Ellertson to the inside, ran around her to the outside, then cut inside to evade Whitehill before hitting her shot into the lower left corner. Once again Scurry got a glove to it, but couldn’t turn it away. The two goals gave Marta a tournament-leading seven in the 2007 FIFA Women’s World Cup.
…

It was the first loss in regulation time for the U.S. women in the past 51 games and first-ever loss under Ryan. The four-goal deficit also marked the biggest margin of defeat in U.S. history.

"Scored an own-goal" for God's sake! "Biggest margin of defeat in U.S. history!" And I can't say columns with headlines like "Brazil overwhelms U.S. with its talent" don't sting. Oh - they sting alright. I blame you for my pain, Brazil, you and your bionic soccer-monster.

I can only hope Germany is ready for what it must face.

Marta: "Raagh!! I'll swallow your soul!!!"

'A straight line is not the shortest distance between two points ...'

2007-09-07T16:17:00.000-05:00

I was sad to read today that Madeleine L'Engle, author of A Wrinkle in Time and many other novels, died yesterday at the age of 88.

L'Engles' Wrinkle was probably the first full-on science fiction book I ever read, or at least it's the earliest I can specifically remember (A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court might have barely beaten it). And man, did it have an impact.

I must have been around 10 or so, and here was my first introduction to concepts like the space/time continuum, wormholes (though they weren't called that in the book) and planes of existence occupying different dimensions than our own. I must have read A Wrinkle in Time two or three times in a row, and then several more times over the years.

On top of the heavy dose of scientific theory, there was the compellingly creepy theme on the evils of conformity. Even now, there are two things that have stuck with me most from the book; Mrs Whatsit folding her apron to explain a space/time wormhole (the title's "wrinkle in time") and the frighteningly soulless and ordered planet where the kid's father is being held. When the heroes of Wrinkle first get there, the come upon a street lined with gray houses that's empty until, suddenly and with perfect precision, every door opens and a child comes out. Here's a taste of what weirded me out:

"As the skipping rope hit the pavement, so did the ball. As the rope curved over the head of the jumping child, the child with the ball caught the ball. Down came the ropes. Down came the balls. Over and over again. Up. Down. All in rhythm. All identical. Like the houses. Like the paths. Like the flowers."

Guh - it still gives me the creeps.

While looking for a link for background on A Wrinkle in Time, I realized I had completely forgotten about the religious overtones of the story. I'd have to re-read it (and its follow-ups, which are also good), but I remember it being kind of innocuous for the most part. It's definitely there, but it doesn't get in the way of a great story about free-thinking, relativity and the power of love. If you haven't read it, give it a try - you won't be sorry.

Thanks, Madeleine L'Engle - you introduced me to things I still think about today; and whenever I'm explaining a wormhole to someone, I still use your apron as an example.

The tide is high (but he's holding on)

2007-08-31T23:45:00.000-05:00

Is it just me, or does it seem as if the once-tightly packed foundation of the Bush sandcastle (and by extension, the GOP) has been taking some wear-and-tear from the waves of scandal and increasing public dissatisfaction?

Just today Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho announced that he plans to resign after all the noise made since being busted for soliciting sex in an airport men's room. I still want to know what kind of "hand gestures" he made that were apparently obvious cue to the cops Is it like flashing gang signs? I don't want to get accidentally blown away, in any sense of the word.

And then, Deputy Press Secretary Dana Perino was bumped up to the top spot after Tony Snow resigned. I'm willing to give Snow a pass since he's trying to beat cancer for the second time, but I can't help but think that he might've thought it was a good idea to git while the gittin' was good. He's been a consistent cheerleader for the White House, so you know the image-conscious Administration can't be happy, especially since it comes so soon after Rove announced he was leaving.

And that was just today!

I want to believe the American public and its supposed elected representatives have finally - finally - had enough. But thanks to the actions of this administration ... I'm not sure I do. I almost feel as if Bush has stolen my wallet, and now periodically comes around to smack me in the head with it while the crowd nods and tells him, yes, he's doing the right thing.

I can only hope that the crowd is checking its pockets and will realize they've been ripped off, too.

Like a phoenix rising from Arizona

2007-08-20T21:32:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know - it's been a while since we've put anything up here, but a combination of a busy time at work, a week's vacation and other excuses that I hope sound good have kept us from posting as regularly as we'd like. But that doesn't mean we haven't been thinking about the poor little blog, so here are some of the things that have caught out attention lately.

We'll kick things off with - what else - the latest in pickle news! Actually, this is a few weeks old, but that's OK - we all know pickles keep forever. I'm not sure what's with the apparent upswing in pickle popularity lately, but I'm beginning to get a little suspicious, especially since this time it's local!

Apparently it's not enough to soak them in Kool-Aid; now they're freezing the juice and calling it ... a picklesickle. According to the Austin-American Statesman:

John Howard of Seguin is the creator of the Picklesickle, 2 ounces of dill pickle juice frozen in a Vienna sausage-sized plastic bag. Howard retired from the plumbing trade last year and now runs a Seguin roller rink, where he has sold thousands of the neon green frozen treats.

Frozen pickle juice pops have been popular treats for kids at fairs, drive-in movies and other events for years. Howard's Picklesickles had a similar genesis, as pickle juice frozen in small plastic cups and sold for 75 cents under the roller rink's multicolored disco lights in the city about 50 miles south of Austin. That first batch, made in May, sold out the first weekend and used up all of the pickle juice Howard had on hand. Now, he buys pickles in 5-gallon jars and uses a "proprietary method" to turn them into pure pickle juice.

On a busy weekend, Howard sells more than 300 Picklesickles, most of them to kids, he said. Flavored versions — including cherry-dill pickle, lime-dill pickle and kosher dill pickle — are in development. And Howard has sold about 30 boxes through his Picklesickle Web site, www.picklesickle.com, to pickle lovers from Waco to Anchorage, Alaska. They go for $18 to $30, depending on the quantity.

Instead of stopping myself the next time I have a crazy idea, I'm going to come up with a catchy name and slap a price tag on it, 'cause people will buy anything.

Y'know, today's a special day, so instead of downing another picklesickle, why don't you do something a little less icky? Like, say, summon an Outer God and fall into the endless madness that is the emptiness of a cold and uncaring universe?!?!

Yes, happy 117th birthday H.P. Lovecraft, in whatever dark dimension you may be haunting nowadays. Why, you and the Cthulhu Mythos that slithered out of your inspired imagination even has the power to make the Family Circus funny.

I have this panel taped to my office door - the look on people's faces as they read it cracks me up every time.

Speaking of strange goings-on, me and Lopez! spent about a week in Taos recently, where she took a class and I walked a pair of tennis shoes to death. It was the first time Lopez had been to the area, and it was nice to be around mountains and real Mexican food again. Yay mountains! Screw you, tex-mex!

The Worst Soup in the World

2007-07-26T14:51:00.000-05:00

I didn't have much for lunch today, but you know what? That's OK, because the alternative would have been to eat the entire container of Dr. McDougall's Vegan Minestrone and Pasta soup, which is so bad I can't even think of a simile for it.

Vegan food can be good, but maybe that's just the freshly made stuff because I can tell you that this cup of instant soup is so bad that I would not be surprised if you told me the Devil himself squatted over cardboard containers all day just to put this product on the shelves. Is this why you vegans tend to be grumpy? I would be too if this was the kind of crap I had to eat.

And don't get me wrong - this isn't an anti-vegan rant. I eat everything and I've put some truly foul things in my mouth. But this ... good God ... I didn't even pay for it and I feel ripped off.

Lopez and I forgot lunch today, so we borrowed these cups of caca from a coworker (who claims they're "good," by the way). Our first hint of things to come? When Lopez had her first spoonful and said, "Tastes fishy."

Lopez thought the MINESTRONE TASTED FISHY!

It was all downhill from there. The beans and vegetables never rehydrated, and instead became little dried-out bombs of ick. The "flavor mix" tended to hide in the pasta shells, waiting to unleash the full force of the soups' strangely chemical taste. There was something in there that could have been barley, or just as easily could have have been Styrofoam. No, wait - I've tasted Styrofoam, and it wasn't this bad.

In the end I could only eat the broth, and even then it was a struggle. With every bite I became more pissed, as if this soup had personally committed an affront to me and my entire family, and then smacked me in the back of the head with a dead 'possum. Lopez didn't eat much more, and she loves soup.

We shared a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a Coke with "lunch." We later both had a handful of Reese's Pieces.

I CAN STILL TASTE THAT GODDAMN SOUP!

This soup was so bad I felt compelled to warn everyone about it, like it was Attila's horde or an impromptu Yanni concert. If you have the opportunity to eat this soup, I'd recommend you catch a squirrel and then use it to scrape up some unidentifiable roadkill in a toxic swamp instead. It would be better than Dr. Death's Vegan Minestrone and Evil soup.

It would have to be better.

Things I Hate: 1st in a series

2007-07-17T15:54:00.000-05:00

People who habitually use British slang

Attention individuals who "casually" drop lingo from the U.K. on a regular basis - including "bloody," "wanker," "arse" and "bollocks" - but are not connected to the U.K. in any way:

YOU'RE NOT BRITISH!

(Anyone from the United Kingdom, please ignore this message.)

Hey, good-lookin'

2007-07-07T19:15:00.000-05:00

Look who took a whirl at making an avatar - yay Lopez!!

Los Siiiimp-soooooons!

2007-07-05T15:43:00.000-05:00

So, an accurate depiction of yours truly in Springfield? You make the call!

By the way, this was done by using the avatar creator at the movie home page and then taking a screen shot (I didn't feel like registering for something I'd use once). If you feel like joining in on the fun, that'd be swell.

Now who's got the squishees?

Hell of a commute

2007-07-03T11:20:00.000-05:00

I give up.

How do you even fight such blatant corruption and cronyism? How do you stand up against someone who is essentially a retarded bully who not only doesn't care what's right or wrong or what the people he obstensibly serves want, but instead serves only his own malformed concept of loyalty and duty to self.

I hope it's obvious that I've been talking about George Bush.

Congratulations, you evil, empty shell of a man - I feel broken. By commuting the sentence of Lewis Libby on felony charges, and leaving the door opent to a possible future pardon, you've practically destroyed what little faith I had left in America and what it's supposed to represent. The law means nothing to you, except as something to be bent and twisted to your needs.

I don't care that he's on probation - that's meaningless. I don't care that he has to pay a fine of $250,000 - he's got the money, and if he doesn't have it now he's still got those buddies of his who raised million ... MILLIONS ... to support his case and push for that full pardon. And I especially don't care that his reputation is supposedly "irreparably damaged" or that his career as a lawyer could be over - that is the least someone convicted of lying in court and obstruction of justice should suffer.

I'm not surprised, really. And that's what bothers me: I've come to expect the worst from the president of my country, and little better from my government. And it bothers me that whatever I think - or whatever any other citizen or activist group says, or whatever empty rhetoric any politician coughs up - doesn't mean anything.

Not a damn thing.

Image: Associated Press

Lo siento, Mexico

2007-06-25T09:19:00.000-05:00

The final game of the CONCACAF tournament was yesterday, and let's just say that as a native of Mexico ... Lopez! is pissed!

It might be because I keep dancing around the apartment chanting, "U-S-A! U-S-A!"

Whooooo! In spite of all the naysayers, the US was the better team (ha!) and beat Mexico 2-1 to take home the Gold Cup, leaving Mexico to sob into the tricolores and plan the lynching of their coach, Hugo Sanchez.

Oh man, does Lopez! hate that dude. He talked a lot of smack before he was named coach, and since then has managed to create a team of primadonnas who seem disinterested in scoring on the field. Not to mention he looks like a pudgy Tom Jones, so he's got that against him, too. Plus, he's got that annoying tendency Mexican fans have of making excuses and being unwilling to admit they lost. This is what Sanchez said after the game:

"When you lose doing what we did, you can't be sad," Mexico coach Hugo Sanchez said. "It bothers me, sure. But when you look at how we did in the tournament, we got a lot better and we deserved a better result. Sometimes the team that plays better doesn't always win."

Gah!

And I have to admit - I used to hate Landon Donovan. He was pretty full of himself, but didn't follow-through enough to earn it. But lately he seems to have matured, focused and become a real team leader, which is what the US team needs. On top of that, Mexico despises Donovan, so you know that's gotta be satisfying.

Don't get me wrong - I love the Mexican team, and when I'm not rooting for the US I'm all about Mexico. But for now, well ... I think it's time for another victory dance.

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Hey, Pickle!!

2007-06-12T15:03:00.000-05:00

Have you ever seen Idiocracy? It's not as good as Office Space, but it's a solid offering from Mike Judge that runs with the premise that society is virtually in ruins in the future because, well, stupid people tend to breed more. And they tend to eat more junk food and energy drinks.

Don't sweat it, stupid people! It's really a statement on our American society in general, since the world basically operates as if everyone is living in a reality show.

Ow. I just hurt my brain.

Anyway, this is all a long way to say this: Earlier, Lopez and I were talking about this, and she said it just supports her argument that Idiocracy might not be that far-fetched.

Ladies and gentlemen, in our continuing quest to bring you the latest in pickle news, I give you what some call:

THE KOOLICKLE

Oh yeah!

Because everyone knows that dill pickles have been crying out for an intensive Kool-Aid injection. And yes, small child, I will try Hot Cheetos and ice cream. At this point, why the hell not?

I just hope I don't go into sugar-shock while eating my Koolickle. Being found with one in my grip - or God forbid, my mouth - might be embarrassing.

Shit. Now I can't stop saying "Koolickle."

Ny ... Nyarlathotep?

2007-05-31T15:52:00.000-05:00

I think I might be reading too much Lovecraft.

I was sitting in a meeting and eating some chocolate someone brought. The wrappers had playful little messages in them like, "You look good in red," and, "Take a bubble-bath." I opened one up and it said:

And the first thing I thought of was forest cabins and brains in metallic cylinders.

Yeah ... it might be time to re-read a Harry Potter book or something.

Like a rocket

2007-05-25T09:51:00.000-05:00

One of the many things I love about Austin is its tendency to bolt wacky sculptures to its buildings. There's the Mangia dinosaur (now stalking the roof of the Wheatsville Co-op), the Blue Genie, the pumped-up arm of that gym on Guadalupe, the tentaskull on Burnet, and a ton more.

There's even water heater rockets, blasting off to parts unknown, looking for the next adventure. And that, really, kind of sums up what it's like living in this town.

(Seen on St. John's Avenue, near North Lamar and 183)

Brace yourself

2007-05-18T09:12:00.000-05:00

Guess who got her braces off this Wednesday?

Yay for Lopez! Let's go get some roasted corn and candy apples!

The scene in Virginia

2007-04-19T11:29:00.000-05:00

It's human nature to try to find meaning in seemingly random, horrific situations. We don't understand why a young man felt he had to walk across the Virginia Tech campus and open fire, killing 32 people and then himself. We probably will never know.

That's not going to stop us from asking questions, of course. But we have to remember something: 32 people are dead. The rampant speculation - much of it generated by the media in its rush to "get the story" - is creating a large amount of heat while shedding precious little light.

Let's stop guessing. Stop trying to place blame, and figure out how to fix things for the future. Realize that sometimes you can't plan for the unthinkable and the irrational. Yes, there were clues and warning signs throughout the past years - extremely disturbing clues - but these things often don't have meaning in and of themselves until you're given a horrible reason to add them all together.

We do need insight into what led to the tragic murders at Virginia Tech. We do need to understand why the lives of 32 people were suddenly, needlessly ended. But stop pawing blindly at any stray mote, and don't try to add meaning where there is none.

Carrasco is right: Trying to now blame movies, and in the process showing your own cultural ignorance, is lazy, it's foolish, and it's beside the point. Movies - or video games, Web sites, books or whatever will be picked up on next - aren't to blame for the deaths of 32 people on a college campus; that lies with a single, sociopathic gunman, and we shouldn't lose sight of that.

This teacup ride is making me sick

2007-04-19T10:07:00.000-05:00

Keep an ear out and listen for this latest bit of rhetoric to come out of the Bush administration. I'll bet my "dirty liberal" membership card that they will begin beating this drum hard, telling Iraq - and by extension, the American people - that we never promised to send more troops or to actually clean up the mess we made.

Instead, the administration will first make it seem as if Iraqis are responsible for the problems in Iraq, and then will try to say the idea of not sending more troops was their idea in the first place.

This is how the spin begins, with distraction and misinformation.

And call me paranoid, but do you think there was any coincidence that this happened the same day Alberto Gonzalez began testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee?

Gates in Iraq to spur reconciliation

By Lolita C. Baldor
Associated Press

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Defense Secretary Robert Gates slipped into Iraq Thursday to warn Iraqi leaders that the U.S. commitment to a military buildup there is not open-ended.

Gates said the political tumult in Washington over financing the military presence in Iraq shows that both the American public and the Bush administration are running out of patience with the war. He was speaking to reporters in Israel just before his quick flight to Baghdad.

"I would like to see faster progress," he said, adding that momentum by the Iraqi government on political reconciliation as well as legislation on sharing oil revenue would "begin the process to send a message that the leaders are beginning to work together."

He said that, in turn, would create an environment in which violence could be reduced.

Underscoring the urgency in controlling the violence, police said a suicide car bomber rammed into a fuel truck in central Baghdad only hours before Gates' arrival, killing at least 11 people. The attack came a day after one of the bloodiest days in Baghdad since the U.S. troop increase began nine weeks ago, with four strikes killing more than 180 people.

'Hi. I'm Kurt Vonnegut'

2007-04-12T11:22:00.000-05:00

It's always sad when we lose one of the good ones.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., was a renowned author, a dedicated humanist and, by all accounts, just generally a really nice guy with something important he had to share with you. His death yesterday - due apparently to complications from recent brain injuries sustained in a fall - leaves an empty space no one will ever really be able to fill.

For all the important ideas he produced and seeded in our psyches, it seems silly that the thing that most endeared Vonnegut to me was his cameo appearance in Back to School. At one point, rich-guy-gone-back-to-college Thornton Melon (Rodney Dangerfield) has hired Vonnegut to write a report on himself for a class. Vonnegut shows up to drop off the report, and in a later scene the teacher gives Thornton an "F" and tells him:

Diane: Whoever did write this doesn't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut!

[cut to Thornton's dorm suite]
Thornton: [on the phone] ... and another thing, Vonnegut! I'm gonna stop payment on the check!

[Kurt, unheard, responds]
Thornton: Fuck me? Hey, Kurt, can you read lips? Fuck you! Next time I'll call Robert Ludlum!

[hangs up]

For some reason, I think Vonnegut must've gotten a kick out of that.

'Which order are we talking about?'

2007-04-10T14:36:00.000-05:00

I've got to admit, I like Barack Obama and it's almost completely for superficial reasons. He comes off as a hip, smart, relaxed and confident guy who says all the right things - basically, the kind of guy you'd want your daughter to date. Or hell, the sort of dude you'd want to date yourself.

But his recent comments on The Late Show with David Letterman just shot him up another 25 points on my personal Candidatetometer. You, Mr. Obama, have Evel Knievel-sized balls. You don't have the track-record some of the other candidates do, but you've got balls.

Here's a breakdown from the New York Times:

The Obama-Clinton Ticket?

By Jeff Zeleny

It’s not uncommon, at least in some Democratic circles, to ponder the possibilities of a joint presidential ticket of Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama. And in most conversations, the names are listed in precisely that order.

But when that question is raised on tonight’s Late Show with David Letterman, Senator Obama asks for a bit of clarity.

“That would be a powerful ticket,” Mr. Letterman says of the two senators. “Undeniably that would be a powerful ticket.”

Mr. Obama replies: “Which order are we talking about?”

You just know that ended with a bad night for Bill.

Image cropped from a MSNBC illustration

Weird science v.2

2007-03-30T11:06:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know we haven't posted anything in a while - sorry 'bout that. It's a lame excuse, but things really have been busy lately. Regular posting will begin again soon, but for now, put the needle on the record for ... SCIENCE!!!

France opens secret UFO files covering 50 years

by Marlowe Hood PARIS (AFP) - France became the first country to open its files on UFOs Thursday when the national space agency unveiled a website documenting more than 1,600 sightings spanning five decades.

The online archives, which will be updated as new cases are reported, catalogues in minute detail cases ranging from the easily dismissed to a handful that continue to perplex even hard-nosed scientists.

...

"Cases such as the lady who reported seeing an object that looked like a flying roll of toilet paper" are clearly not worth investigating, said Patenet.

But many others involving multiple sightings -- in at least one case involving thousands of people across France -- and evidence such as burn marks and radar trackings showing flight patterns or accelerations that defy the laws of physics are taken very seriously.

I saw an object that looked like a flying roll of toilet paper once, but it was after eating some bad Thai (thank you - tip your waitresses, folks!)

Conclusive proof: Vampires do not exist

The Huffington Post

Apparently some smarty-pants scientists have proven conclusively that vampires conclusively do not exist. Here's why: Each time a vampire bites someone to feed, they turn that person into a vampire, creating a cycle that doubles and doubles and doubles again, like that famous "and they told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on and so on and so on" Faberge Organics commercial from the 80's, and also like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and mitosis, kind of.

It's explained more smarter here:

If a single vampire fed on a single human in the first month, this would create two vampires -- and decrease the human population by one, leaving it at 536,870,911 - 1 = 536,870,910. In the second month, those two vampires would each feed, transforming two people into vampires -- so you get four vampires and a human population of 536,870,911 - 3 = 536,870,908. So you can see where this is headed. The vampire population is increasing in a geometric progression, and the population of humans is similarly decreasing -- and at that rate, the authors calculate, the entire human population would be transformed into vampires in only 30 months. QED!

So it isn't wooden stakes, sunlight or even Slayers that kill vampires - it's math. And Latin.

Bizarre hexagon spotted in Saturn’s clouds

One of the most bizarre weather patterns in the solar system has been photographed at Saturn, where astronomers have spotted a huge, six-sided feature circling the north pole.

Rather than the normally sinuous cloud structures seen on all planets that have atmospheres, this thing is a hexagon.

...

The hexagon is nearly 15,000 miles (25,000 kilometers) across. Nearly four Earths could fit inside it. The thermal imagery shows that the hexagon extends about 60 miles (100 kilometers) down into the clouds.

This is simultaneously the most disconcerting and the most awesome thing I've ever seen. I don't know what's going on with Saturn, but between this and the Eye, I think it might be a good idea to watch the skies.

Smaller Inflatable Exoskeleton

nym - This tiny girl is wearing what's called a "Power Jacket," which is an inflatable exokeleton that weighs only four pounds.

Japanese electronics giant Matsushita Electric Industrial unveils the prototype model for a "power jacket" to help patients recover from partial paralysis during rehabilitation, at the Home Care and Rehabilitation Exhibition in Tokyo.

This is cool on so, so many levels.

Scientists discover 'shadow person'

by Erica Harrison Cosmos Online

SYDNEY: Ever feel as though you're being followed? As if someone is behind you, shadowing your every move? It might be your ‘shadow person,' created by unusual activity in a specific brain region, a new study shows.

The paper, published in the British journal Nature, describes the case of a 22-year-old woman with no history of psychiatric problems who was being evaluated for treatment of epilepsy. When a region of her brain called the left temporoparietal junction was electrically stimulated, the woman described encounters with a ‘shadow person' who mimicked her bodily movements.

…

When the patient was lying down, stimulation of this brain region caused her to feel that someone was behind her. … When the patient sat up, leaned forward and clasped her knees, she felt that the figure was also sitting, embracing her in its arms - a feeling she described as "unpleasant."

Do you ever get the feeling scientists just dig the idea of poking people in the brain? Just to see what happens?

Class dismissed!

Amelie

2007-03-14T09:33:00.000-05:00

We got this text message last night, which automatically became the best text message ever:

From: Tom

Baby Amelie is 8 lb 10 oz!! All ok.

9:08P Tue Mar13

Congratulations, Tom and Nina! We're so happy for you both, and we can't wait to meet the little piece of heaven. We love you guys, and we already love your daughter.

Hooray for Tom and Nina! Yay for Amelie!!

El Paso agents - activate!

2007-03-02T11:53:00.000-06:00

It was during a visit with some friends from El Paso that we heard the news: People's Emporium had shut down.

Apparently this happened a while ago, but it was news to me. I think it was also more of a shock to me than to Lopez! because it had been one of my El Paso touchstones, one of those things that was so "El Paso," but at the same time almost out of step with the city just out of its sheer weirdness.

Imagine being a young kid, living in a part of the city that makes trips to the Downtown area seem like a rare treat. For me, this is where the action was: the main library branch, which for me always had the same spiritual vibe as a Gothic church; my aunt's bookstore; the medical building where Mom worked; the bars my dad frequented and where my sister and I would pretend to play shuffleboard and pool. And of course, People's Emporium.

It wasn't until later that I was really aware of A-1 Costumes on the second floor, with its wonderfully creaky wooden stairway and musty, heigh-ceilinged area crammed with spirit gum, latex masks and cheap bald-caps. For me, it was all about the enormous first floor, an odd cramming together of a used bookstore, a novelty shop and an occult back-room.

My parents practically had to drag me out of there every single time.

It didn't hurt that the building itself was unique. Square in the heart of the Five Points neighborhood, People's Emporium occupied a large wedge of brick painted a red that bordered on lurid, at least in my imagination.

Maybe that's what I loved so much about the place; it was somewhere my imagination could run wild, snatching up sci-fi paperbacks with one hand and fingering smoothly polished gemstones with the other, magic crackling in the grip of both. If I could steal a peek at a half-dressed woman preserved forever at the bottom of a glass ashtray, my trip could be considered a complete success.

When I heard that the Emporium had closed down, I have to admit my heart broke a little. It was one of those things a person just assumed, naively, would always be there. I still made periodic trips as an adult, either to prowl the aisles of the bookstore or to pick up some face-paint for that year's Halloween costume. It never occured to me that my last trip there would also be my final trip ever to what I considered a local landmark.

I can't help feeling as if we - me and El Paso - have lost something. Maybe not something particularly important, but certainly something special.

So here's a special request to my pals in El Paso: Does anyone have any information about the closing? Did it make the paper? Is there any chance anybody out there has a photo of the building? And while you're at it, do you have any memories you'd like to share?

For myself, I know I'll be taking a lot of pictures around town the next time I'm in El Paso - just in case.

Be a dude

2007-02-15T09:26:00.000-06:00

Hello, Public-at-Large - I've got a favor to ask. I know it's awkward, and it seems silly to even bring it up, but if you notice that I've got something hanging out of my nose can you please tell me?

Yes, it can be a little uncomfortable. But believe me, the ripple of embarrassment you feel is nothing compared to the groaning chagrin that comes from catching a reflection of yourself and noticing a righteous nose-goblin gripping the rim of your nostril.

Come on - I'd do it for you.

I've never understood this attitude of it somehow being better if everyone just pretends somthing's not there. Dont' be a jerk about it, but wouldn't it be better to have a moment of polite discomfort rather than look into a mirror and wonder, "How long has THAT been there?"

So I'm asking you - as a fellow member of society, as someone who's been there, as a friend - let me know if you see bats in the cave. Lopez! can't be on boogie-duty all the time.

By the way ... I came down with a cold this morning, so someone's going to have to pull a double-shift.

Happy birthday, Abe!

2007-02-12T11:20:00.000-06:00

I've always said Lincoln kicked ass, what with preserving the Union, freeing the slaves and being an icon of honor and justice in desperate times. And now here's more proof!

Rock on, Abe ... rock on.

Felicidades

2007-02-11T23:27:00.000-06:00

Every year I'm overwhelmed by the generosity and warm fuzzies I get from people who mean a lot to me.

My loving and lovely wife is the greatest gift I could have asked for, and she makes every day seem like a birthday. Every. Single. Day. I could never express how fortunate and how complete she makes me feel.

My family is wonderful, and I just wish we could spend more of these moments together. I've also been lucky enough to find the greatest gang of friends a guy could ask for - whether they know it or not, they're as good as family to me.

Which all means - you suckers are never getting rid of me. I'm greedy that way.

Thanks, everybody!

Iran (not so) far away

2007-02-04T12:43:00.000-06:00

If you're a critic of the Bush administration, it's easy to fall into the thinking that there couldn't possibly be anything more that could be done to surprise you. And then, incredibly, you're proven wrong.

Every reliable poll has Bush's approval ratings in the basement. The American people are fed up with the course of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan (remember that place?), the ineffectual lip service that passes for national security (those cartoon boxes had been in Boston for two weeks before anyone even noticed) and the outright corruption and arrogance that has been a hallmark of this presidency.

But none of this has really managed to pierce the bubble that keeps Bush warm and safely distant from reality. The administration may be showing off a newfound chumminess with the Democratic party, but nothing has really changed. If it had, we wouldn't be gearing up for war with Iran.

This shouldn't be a surpise to anyone, but somehow it's still a shock. One of the commentators on this weeks' McLaughlin Group said, almost off-handedly, that the United States would be at war with Iran by this summer. The sudden sinking feeling in your stomach was enough to make you queasy.

If you don't think it could happen, if you don't think the administration could possibly be so senseless that it would stretch non-existent resources to cover yet another misguided fight on yet another front, take a look at this:

Analysis: Bush's Iran stance echoes Iraq

By Tom Raum, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - President Bush's tough new stance on Iran and his military buildup in the Persian Gulf recall some of the drumbeats that preceded the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq in 2003.

As then, the Bush administration is making allegations about Iran without providing proof.

It is suggesting Iran is sending weapons to Iraq, yet offering no evidence the supplies can be traced to Tehran. There are whispers, too, that Iranian intelligence agents were behind the recent abduction and execution of five U.S. soldiers.

Iran is the "axis of evil" country whose nuclear ambitions must be stopped. Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is now Bush's primary Mideast nemesis, replacing the late Saddam Hussein.

Bush's efforts to rally public support behind his harder line on Iran have many lawmakers and some from the intelligence and defense world wondering if it is a prelude to military activity.

Try not to be surprised when we hear the bombs are falling in Iran.

And then try not to be ashamed.

Mordida! Mordida!

2007-02-03T23:40:00.000-06:00

Who had a birthday?

This guy had a birthday!

Hooray! Happy birthday, Tom!

Todos quieren y aman el futbol

2007-01-19T14:57:00.001-06:00

OK, Lopez! - let the smack-talk begin!

MLS, Mexican First Division clubs to compete in SuperLiga

LOS ANGELES (TICKER) -- The commissioners of Major League Soccer and the Mexican First Division on Saturday announced the formation of SuperLiga, a tournament involving four clubs from each league that will compete this summer for a $1 million first prize.

Modeled after the widely popular UEFA Champions League, the SuperLiga will include a group phase and knockout phase, with all games being held in U.S. venues from July 24-August 29.
...

Group A will consist of MLS clubs FC Dallas and the Los Angeles Galaxy and Mexican teams CD Guadalajara and CF Pachuca. Group B will contain D.C. United and the Houston Dynamo of MLS and Club America and Monarcas Morelia of the Mexican league.

"Given the great soccer rivalry between the two countries, we strongly believe SuperLiga will be a great international soccer tournament," Mexican commissioner Decio de Maria said. "Featuring the top teams in both leagues, SuperLiga will become an instant favorite among the millions of soccer fans in Mexico and U.S."

All I know is that, considering the teams chosen for the tournament, it's obvious everyone's afraid of my Tecos.

Frozen treat

2007-01-17T22:38:00.000-06:00

It looks like our three-day vacation ends tomorrow with higher temperatures, but it was fun while it lasted. Of course it wasn't fun for everyone, but for me and Lopez! it meant lots of snacking, TV and lounging around in pajamas. And no work - yay!

For a place that seems to have 364 days of summer heat, this much ice outside of a beer cooler is freaky.

While I was taking pictures from our apartment balcony (I could only stand in one corner - the rest was slick and I couldn't be bothered to change out of my no-weather slippers), I noticed this light, tinkling sound. It turned out to be the iced-over branches of a tree clacking together in the breeze, and I stood out there a little longer just to listen to it.

Then I got my frozen ass back inside.

Can you feel the love?

2007-01-12T16:09:00.000-06:00

Behold! Praised be Electric Jesus!

(Seen at a booth in the Rio Grande Mall in Ciudad Juarez over the holidays)

Fun with conspiracy

2007-01-08T11:27:00.000-06:00

I really doubt one thing has to do with the other, but isn't it a weird coincidence that Austin's Congress Avenue is covered with about 60 dead birds on the same morning that an unexplained smell of gas blankets most of New York City?

I'm sure glad we got that "War on Terror" thing knocked out we don't have to worry about this sort of thing anymore.

In the meantime, has anyone checked Area 51?

Thanks a pantsload, Santa

2007-01-02T14:27:00.000-06:00

Well, that's just great!

The entire time we were in El Paso the weathermen kept saying, "It's gonna snow, it's gonna snow." It got cold as hell (the desert can be a special kind of brisk at night, especially during winter), but no snow. Nothin'.

So of course it snows the day after we leave. According to my mom, it's big-ass flakes like she hasn't seen in 30 friggin' years. And yes, that's a quote.

Kids are making snowmen, for God's sake. If I see anyone here in Austin wearing shorts, I'm gonna punch 'em right in the snowballs.

Took him long enough

2006-12-20T11:22:00.000-06:00

Bush: Iraq insurgents hurt U.S. efforts

By Terence Hunt, AP White House correspondent

WASHINGTON - Summing up a year of set-backs, President Bush conceded Wednesday that insurgents in Iraq thwarted U.S. efforts at “establishing security and stability throughout the country.”

This must have killed him. I bet you could hear little brain cells popping from the strain throughout the West Wing.

And all it took was nearly four years and almost 3,000 American lives.

You're gonna crap thunder

2006-12-19T09:52:00.000-06:00

God help me - I think we have to watch this.

When I heard about "Rocky Balboa," I thought it was a joke. Stallone was going to make another Rocky movie? Why? There's nothing left to say, and you've already stolen any dignity left in the property. And hey, Sly ... you're ooooooooooooollld.

Normally, I'm an unapologetic Rocky fan. I still tear up when Rocky calls out to Adrian, and I hate commies all over again when Drago kills Apollo. I openly weep when Mickey dies. Even when the movies became more and more cornball, I still loved the Rocky series.

Well, except for "Rocky V" - what a piece of crap that was. I refuse to even link to that steaming pile. And of course, that movie was the first thing I thought of when I heard about "Rocky Balboa." Why would I want to watch Stallone trot out his aging Italian Stallion one more time, along with his apparently oversized ego? Rocky was brain-damaged in the last one, so what could we expect in the latest installment - two hours of drooling?

But, I bargained with myself, I did see all of the movies in the theater, and I hate to let a perfect record go to waste. And it is Rocky.

And then, I was watching the trailer the other day and it had a line that just totally sold me on the whole thing. Duke (Apollo's original corner man, and total bad-ass) is telling Rocky what they'll need to do if they want to have any chance at a comeback, and it doesn't sound good:

To beat this guy, you need speed; you don't have it. You've got calcium deposits on most of your joints, so sparring is out.

Damn, Duke - is there any good news?

So what we'll be calling on is blunt. Force. Trauma. Heavy-duty punches that will rattle his ancestors.

And then Duke raises both fists like they were hammers and says:

Let's start building some hurtin'-bombs.

I was wrong - we need to watch this.

Favorite Panel Friday takes a hike

2006-12-08T22:56:00.000-06:00

Looking for comic book-goodness? Thanks to your support and encouragement (and the awesome coding skills of E), it can now be found right here.

We now return to our regularly scheduled Bean. Mmm-mm ... delicious!

Pickle-tickle

2006-12-05T11:55:00.000-06:00

Has anyone else ever heard of this? Apparently, you hide a pickle ornament somewhere on the Christmas tree and it's good luck for the person who finds it.

Who the hell thought up the idea of a "Christmas Pickle?" Would a pickle chip count? Does Hannukah get a gherkin or what?

Either way I feel obligated to do it this year, if for no other reason than to be able to say, "I put my pickle in your tree."

In flight

2006-12-04T10:19:00.000-06:00

The downside to the sudden roller coaster-dip in the weather is that it's been a surprise to the local wildlife, too.

As we were leaving the building this morning on our way to work, we saw something at the end of the walk. I thought it was a kid's coat or sweater. Lopez thought it was the neighbor's stray cat, which he's been feeding for a few months. It turned out to be a hawk, compact and muscular and dead. Lying there on the concrete, it was still beautiful, as magnificent as it was sad.

Making sure there was nothing we could do for it, we left it there, figuring the people running the office would be better equipped to deal with it than we were. Then, getting into the car, Lopez noticed something.

Huddled next to the tire of the car next to us was a tiny sparrow, puffed up and motionless. I went to take a look at it, and it turned its little head toward me. It was alive.

We took a box from the trunk, and while Lopez crumpled up newspapers I picked the bird up in a piece of cloth. It fluttered its wings, but couldn't take off. We gently put the bird in the box, covering the top with a paper bag.

Driving across the street, we stopped to pick up some breakfast on the way to work, which took about 10 minutes. We got back into the car and Lopez asked, "How's the birdie doing?"

I checked and said, "Oh." The sparrow had died, wrapped in cloth and nestled in newspaper.

I told Lopez, "At least he died comfortable, and not on the street."

Lopez sighed. Then she said, "Poor babies."

Favorite Panel Friday says nyet!

2006-12-01T15:06:00.000-06:00

Damn, GL - slapping Russians around with a giant bear ... that's kind of an ironic bitch-slap, isn't it?

I've mentioned before how Green Lantern has always been a front-runner on my top-heroes list, and this panel from Green Lantern #15 sums up why. When I say "Green Lantern" I'm talking about Hal Jordan, and in the classic Silver and Bronze Age interpretations you could always count on some visually wacky action to go along with Hal's charming brand of dickery. Seriously, using the most powerful weapon in the universe to bop someone with a glowing mallet? That's just rubbing it in.

In the newish run written by Geoff Johns and pencilled by Ivan Reis, that version of Green Lantern has been updated while rediscovering all the things that gave Hal his personality - hard-headedness, bravery, nobility, a rakishness that implied he was considering stealing your girlfriend after he was done handing you your ass. Basically, what a normal person might act like if they fell into their own super-powers. Say what you will about Johns and what he's done with the DC universe lately, but he understands characters and is able to elevate and humanize them all at once.

It doesn't hurt that Reis' art is gorgeous, following in the style of Rags Morales and Patrick Gleason. It's perfect for the blend of spandex and science fiction that a Green Lantern title should be; kinetic and detailed without being busy or distracting. And I don't usually mention it, but the inking by Oclair Albert and coloring by Moose Baumann is top-notch, enhancing the whole thing.

But seriously, what's Hal gonna do next - box Australians with a giant kangaroo? Wait a minute ... I think he already might've ...

Green Lantern #15: Geoff Johns, writer; Ivan Reis, artist; Oclair Albert, inker; Moose Baumann, colorist

Finally!

2006-12-01T14:10:00.000-06:00

After 11 months of summer, the heat broke at last. You'll hear native Austinites get expansive about the heat and humidity with something like a deranged pride, drinking coffee while they slap around everywhere in their flip-flops.

But even they were were starting to sound desperate and everyone was wondering if it was ever going to get cold.

Apparently, you don't mess with Mother Nature because she's a fickle chick - it was 80 degrees the day before the temperature dropped like a prom dress to the 40s.

So what? So I finally got to wear this*:

Ear-flaps included! Oh yeah, I look like a goofball - but my melon is warmed by a blend of polyester and memories of Cloudcroft, and it finally feels like Fall around here. I guess I won't be starting a one-man riot and changing my name to Mookie after all.

Now if we could just get those yahoos to stop with the flip-flops already.

A question

2006-11-27T15:47:00.000-06:00

I'm thinking of starting a comics blog - what do you guys think?

It would be reviews (along the lines of the Favorite Panel Friday thing) and general comic book geekiness. This blog was always meant to be a what-the-hell-throw-in-the-kitchen-sink-too sort of thing put together by me and Lopez!, but somewhere along the way it got reeeeallly comics heavy. So I thought, why not do one of those while I'm at it?

That way, other interests like politics, pop culture and pictures from around town wouldn't get unfairly buried here at the Bean so much, and I could go koo-koo-bananas with the comics stuff on the other blog. I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't help me organize posts a little better, too.

And I've already got an awesome name picked out for it.

I know most of you don't comment often (or ever), but I'd like your opinion so try to muster the ganas, OK? That way I'll know and, of course, knowing is half the battle!

Hey turkeys!

2006-11-23T11:46:00.000-06:00

Gooobble, gobble-gobble!
Fat turkeys, fat turkeys!!!

Gooobble, gobble-gobble!
Fat turkeys are we!

We're not made for livin',
We're made for Thanksgivin'!!

Goooble, gobble-gobble!
Fat turkeys are we!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Favorite Panel Friday goes for two

2006-11-17T15:47:00.000-06:00

The Escapists #5 is ... well, it's a toughie. To be honest, I've been putting off bringing up this mini-series, even though it's been on the FPF short-list almost every week it's come out. But it can no longer be denied, so feast your eyes on the first-ever two-panel FPF Panelpalooza! Grab your ass with both hands, kids - this is history!

Urm. Yeah, so two wildly different art styles are used to tell two very different - but parallel - stories in this six-parter. One of those stories takes place as a superhero comic, the other as the story of the people creating that comic. Both of them, strangely enough, feature people in costume.

It's all very meta. It's also, at heart, a love letter. Michael Chabon's Pulitzer-winning novel "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay" has managed to spin off a series of comic anthologies by various contributors, but The Escapists is the one that lays out the comic-love in all it's geeky glory.

Brian K. Vaughn (man, that dude really IS everywhere!) nicely balances glimpses of the latest story of The Escapist with the mostly mundane story of the three friends producing that story, which is where Vaughn's pitter-pat beats loudest. The superhero story is fun, but it's the everyday lives playing out in Cleveland that you end up caring about most. What the hell was Max thinking? Was that the last straw for Case? Is Denny going to be OK? Are they going to be able to get the next issue out?!?

In a neat twist - who knows if it was on purpose or not - the more sketchily realistic art by Jason Shawn Alexander is used to tell the superhero story while Steve Rolston's rounded-edge, cartoony style depicts the story playing out in the real world. In the comic. I'm not trying to be confusing. Honest.

But look at Alexander's depiction of The Saboteur - man, he just oozes evil! And look at the detail in Case's room; that one panel by Rolston tells you a ton about the character with simple attention to background. Both artists' work sets just the right tone for their respective stories, and dovetail into each seamlessly until they reflect and amplify each other in a way that adds depth to both. It's a pretty slick trick, and one that could easily fall apart if you weren't careful.

But, with one issue left to go, it seems pretty clear that Vaughn, Rolston and Alexander are keeping a protective arm around The Escapists. When you love something, after all, it's only natural.

The Escapists #5: Brian K. Vaughn, writer; Steve Rolston, artist; Jason Shawn Alexander, artist

Damn you, Favorite Panel Friday!

2006-11-10T13:32:00.000-06:00

Looking at this panel, you know things aren't going to turn out well for somebody. But take a closer look at it, and you'll see the energy and details that make The Damned such a great fusion of spookhouse horror and gritty crime noir.

Besides the obvious menace of one big, friggin' demon, the Prohibition-era atmosphere is thick in this shot from The Damned #2. Look at the way our little anti-hero Eddie is already reaching for his gun. Look at the crates and warehouses and scattering sea gulls that remind the reader they're at the docks, and that THE DOCKS ARE NOT A GOOD PLACE TO BE.

The Damned is laced with an undercurrent of menace, whether it's a scene involving mobsters from hell or a rough kiss delivered with one arm twisted behind your back, and it all makes for a hell of a fun read. I've also been a fan of Brian Hurtt for a while now, so it's nice to see him making a reappearance so soon after Hard Time got the unwarranted ax (check out his excellent work on Queen & Country, too). Hopefully, this collaboration with author Cullen Bunn will just be the first of several mini-series for The Damned.

The Damned #2: Cullen Bunn, script/story; Brian Hurtt, art/story

That feels better already

2006-11-08T14:43:00.000-06:00

The Democrats have won control of the House of Representatives and are on the brink of taking control of the Senate. Even if they don't get the Senate, they'll be 50-50 with the Republicans and in a much better position than they have been for the last 12 years.

Please don't screw it up, guys. Please, please, please.

Favorite Panel Friday: A well-oiled machine

2006-11-03T15:04:00.000-06:00

When Ex Machina first came out a couple of years ago, I'd tell anyone who'd listen (and anyone I could pin to the ground and force to listen) that it was one of the best comics out there. I even said more than once that it was the best new comic of that year.

Two years later, and it's still pretty damn good.

Explaining Ex Machina is a little tricky, but basically it's this: In a world without superheroes, a civil engineer with socialist leanings gains the ability to communicate with machines after a mysterious device he's investigating blows up in his face. With the help of a couple of friends and some gadgets of his own invention, Mitchell Hundred becomes the Great Machine, a superhero who manages to keep the second tower of the World Trade Center from being hit on Sept. 11. Shortly after, Hundred goes public, gives up his role as the Great Machine and is elected mayor of New York City.

Whew! Believe it or not, that's just the back story. Ex Machina tells the story of Mayor Hundred, and while the story lines refer or are impacted by the Great Machine's past exploits, the series is as much a political drama as it is a heroic thriller, if not more. You'd think this would be dull as dirt, but often the ins and outs of the mayor's office is what keeps everything chugging along.

And poor Mitch - he's been through a lot, and it's starting to show. Brian K. Vaughn is everywhere, but this is his tightest work - if I had to guess, I'd say this title is his baby. And artist Tony Harris has thankfully been with it since the beginning, giving Ex Machina a distinct feel and a life of it's own. Sure, the people tend to look suspiciously alike sometimes (especially the women), but not to the point of the aggravating Dillon or Quitely. You can almost start to believe these people exist out there, tromping around New York and trying to get about the business of living their lives.

Who hasn't felt that weariness, the kind that makes you close your eyes and push your hair back, wishing for just a quiet second of peace? That single panel says a lot - about the character, about the situation and about the creators' understanding of their readers.

It may not be the best comic of the year, but it's still pretty damn good.

Ex Machina #24: Writer, Brian K. Vaughn; Artist, Tony Harris

Milo

2006-11-02T16:08:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the world, little Milo - Oct. 29, 2006, has officially become a day to be celebrated. As I told your mom and dad earlier, if they're half as good at being parents as they have been at being friends, you're going to be one hell of a kid.

Congratulations, Kyle and Christy - he's beautiful.

Jillian & Ian tie the knot, Austin-style

2006-11-01T15:56:00.000-06:00

God almighty! Sometimes it seems like there's nothing to write about, everything's boring and it's a struggle to find anything to say. This isn't one of those times.

People are getting pregnant and having babies all over the place (Yay for Milo! Yay for Kyle and Christy! Happy birthday and congratulations! There's a full post coming soon - we love you guys!), Halloween just made an appearance and we went to a discordian/Halloween wedding. That we weren't technically invited to, but welcomed at anyway.

The fact that a wedding like this could even happen is why I love Austin. It took place at a locally owned coffee shop (an empty lot nearby, actually), people were encouraged to come in costume, part of the ceremony was a guy quoting Robert Anton Wilson (complete with somersault), and the vows pretty much consisted of, "Do you? And do you? Rock on, you're married!" That's almost a direct quote.

And the great thing is it felt as legitimate and familial as any other wedding I've ever attended. Plus, with a few exceptions, a lot more fun.

Our best to the happy couple; truly, we hope you both rock on!

Chicken fat

2006-10-30T11:21:00.000-06:00

I have fond memories of the smell you get when you open a fresh bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, so I was a little concerned when I saw the Colonel's pride and joy was going to switch the oil they use to deep-fry their chicken. I still remember when they dropped cane sugar from the Coke recipe, and the trauma makes me twitchy.

But since we already banned KFC from the drive-through window of our lives for their lackadaisical attitude toward poultry abuse — c'mon, I know we have to kill our meat to eat it, but don't be a dick about it — this is the part of the AP story that grabbed me:

Artificial trans fat is so common that the average American eats 4.7 pounds of it a year, according to the Food and Drug Administration, yet so unhealthy, city health officials say it belongs in the same category as food spoiled by poor refrigeration or rodent droppings.

I'll never look at trans fats or rodent droppings in the same loving way again.

Pachanga!

2006-10-27T10:17:00.000-05:00

Favorite Panel Friday called on account of party! We'll post some pictures soon!

Favorite Panel Friday was raised by an Admiral solid-state television

2006-10-20T15:11:00.000-05:00

Some good stuff came out this week, and I know the latest issue of 52 is probably just some more of Keith Giffen trotting out his favorite whacked-out creations, but today's panel is all about two words: Ambush Bug.

AMBUSH! BUG!!!

52 #24: Writers, Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, Mark Waid; Artist, Phil Jimenez

Favorite Panel Friday drops anchor

2006-10-13T11:21:00.000-05:00

As mentioned in a previous post, the panel picked for FPF isn't necessarily from my favorite comic of the week - which is the case with The Pirates of Coney Island #1. But it was a comic that sure stuck with me, rolling around in my head and poking me in the brain until I read it again.

A big part of that is the art. Strong, fluid, indie-style drawing just jumps off the page thanks to a thick inking job and a color pallette that's bold without being distracting. This is a book that actually seems to have honest-to-God art direction, and the almost garish coloring enhances the action and mood of any given panel.

There's a definite old-school vibe going on here; check out the classic dot-screen used for shading. Bits of the 70s, 80s and 90s are mish-mashed with a Britcomic aesthetic and a sprinkle of American thrift shop; weirdly, it works. The grittily intriguing story about gutter punks and brutal street gangs is solid, and meshes perfectly with the razor-dangerous art.

That's not to say it's all peachy. The Pirates of Coney Island is very hip ... and sometimes feels like it's trying just a little too hard. There's plenty of influence from "street" sources like graffiti and tattoo art, but hitting people over the head with it (especially in the notes from creators Rick Spears and Vasilis Lolos) is a little bit of overkill. You know how when people keep telling you how cool they are, the less you believe it? Sorta like that.

And while the art is great, faces tend to be hard to tell apart sometimes (particularly the women), and there's one character I didn't realize was supposed to be older than the teens until it was mentioned in the dialogue. The work is unique, but don't be surprised if you suddenly find yourself thinking of Tank Girl comics and Gorillaz cover art.

Still, it grabbed me, with a grip strong enough that I had to re-read it, and will probably re-read it again. Let's cross our fingers that this doesn't turn out to be just another book with great art wrapped around a story that goes from good to crappy halfway through (I'm looking at you, Supermarket).

The Pirates of Coney Island #1: Writer/Letterer, Rick Spears; Artist, Vasilis Lolos

Movin' to the country

2006-10-12T15:37:00.000-05:00

Those are the biggest damn peaches I EVER SAW!

(Seen at Austin's Historic Farmers' Market on Burnet)

It rhymes with "blanniversary"

2006-10-09T16:20:00.000-05:00

Hey - guess what Saturday was? Let's just say me and Lopez! reached Spinal Tapian levels of matrimony.

I love you, bebé!

Favorite Panel Friday says: Eat Me

2006-09-29T14:16:00.000-05:00

OK, I have to admit it - I have a thing for Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. I also have a bone-deep exhaustion for all the freakin' retellings of Lewis Carroll's stories and reimaginings of his iconic characters.

But I pretty much love Wonderland.

Taking place sometime after the now-notorious Alice has fled the scene, Wonderland picks up the thread with Mary Ann, the unseen girl the White Rabbit confused Alice for in Adventures. Compulsively committed to her housemaid duties, Mary Ann is only slightly less whacky than more familiar characters - like the Rabbit and the Cheshire Cat - also making an appearance.

At first, I was a little leery of the connection with Disney (the cover blurb says it's, "Inspired by Lewis Carroll's classic works and the Disney animated motion picture"), but the Mouse's influence seems to be mostly cosmetic. Thankfully, the story and dialogue have a healthy streak of Carroll in 'em, making it a fun read from writer Tommy Kovac.

And the art is great - what, are you kidding me? Look at that panel; see how the Cheshire Cat looks a little mottled? It's not sunlight, it's the BACKGROUND! Artist Sonny Liew has designed the Cat so he's always slightly transparent (and the creepy sucker never stops smiling, either). The art work could easily be taken from a children's book, but luckily this blend of classic illustration with a watercolor feel (and a pinch of manga expressionism) is coming out on a monthly basis.

This is a comic I don't think I'll be getting tired of anytime soon.

And the Jabberwocky is awesome.

Wonderland #2: Writer, Tommy Kovac; Artist, Sonny Liew

Who's hungry?

2006-09-28T14:54:00.000-05:00

I swear we didn't doctor this photo - but I think a certain sandwich shop has some explaining to do.

(Seen on Congress Avenue in Austin)

Favorite Panel Friday is fashionably late

2006-09-22T16:15:00.000-05:00

A super hero, some secret-agent talk and a SEVERED, FLAMING VAMPIRE HEAD!

That's a whole lot of comic goodness crammed into one panel, that's for sure. Union Jack #1 spins seamlessly out of the current Brubaker and Epting run on Captain America, seamlessly enough that I didn't realize it was a different creative team at first.

But that shouldn't take away from what writer Christios Gage and artist Mike Perkins are doing with this book. Union Jack nicely fits into the world being created over in Captain America, but expands on it and actually cements the concept of super-powered spy-guys. Political without being preachy, steadily built tension and rich, detailed artwork come together for a first issue that makes you eager for the second.

Union Jack #1: Writer, Christios Gage; Artist, Mike Perkins

BONUS PANEL!

For a "regular feature," the ol' FPF has been pretty irregular lately. Usually, if I'm falling behind in getting a panel up here I'll just shrug and pretend to be busy wrestling bears or writing peace treaties. This time, though, I didn't want to let last week's Wasteland #3 slip by without a mention.

Man, this comic keeps getting better with each issue. The story is a familiar post-apocalyptic-Thunderdome-Dune kind of thing, but it'd be a mistake to dismiss it as unoriginal. There is a definite sense of a larger story, and you can tell a deep history has already been thought out; nothing happens without reason. The art is simple but detailed, and almost stunning in some panels. Restrained use of Photoshop gives the whole thing a cinematic look that really works. Wasteland is an epic in the making.

Get on board with the first issue, free and online!

Wastland #3: Writer, Antony Johnston; Artist, Chris Mitten